Friday, August 17, 2007

It arrived!

I said I was on break, but I needed to pop on to write something.

I know anyone who has been in my shoes-- experiencing a lengthy separation from young children-- would understand completely. Today my first package from home arrived. It was a package I put together before I left of stuff I wanted to have with me in my new town, and G mailed it to me the day after I took off (I would have mailed it myself, but ran out of time).

When the postman rang the buzzer on the church door, and announced himself, I raaaaan up three flights of stairs to get to him. I just knew it was one of my packages, and I was bursting with excitement. The first thing I did was dig through it looking for the photos of the kids I had packed, and as soon as I found them, I could have cried. I miss them sooooooo much. Those photos mean the world to me right now.

They aren't recent photos. They're just the photos I could find as I hurried to get things packed up. And I have about six of K and only 2 of M, basically because most of M's were already in frames that had been boxed away by the time I was looking (M is older, so more of his stuff has had a chance to be framed). But I know have a bunch of photos on my desk, and somehow, it is a little easier to feel comfortable in this "strange office" with them sitting there.

I am so homesick. Yesterday I walked into a Staples (office supply) store and nearly burst into tears from the comfort of a familiar smell-- even if that familiar smell was only the plastic binders and printer ink. M is having a hard time too. Today we were talking on the phone and he started sobbing uncontrollably, "Mama....airplane...mama...airplane." My heart is so heavy, I fear it might stop.


H&B's Mama said...

Oh, that just breaks my heart. I've only been away from Sir H for one night at a time, when he spends the night with my parents a block away, and even then, my heart aches. Even when they're sleeping, I look at their pictures and miss them. I can't imagine how hard it must be on you. You're in my thoughts. (())

Kristyn said...

I've read some of your stuff on the adoption forum on Mothering, so hopped over here. I can't imagine what you're going through and I hope it resolves itself sooner than later.

The Procrastinator said...

Thank you so much for visiting Kristyn! It is so wonderful to have friends online who are holding my hand through this.