I said I was on break, but I needed to pop on to write something.
I know anyone who has been in my shoes-- experiencing a lengthy separation from young children-- would understand completely. Today my first package from home arrived. It was a package I put together before I left of stuff I wanted to have with me in my new town, and G mailed it to me the day after I took off (I would have mailed it myself, but ran out of time).
When the postman rang the buzzer on the church door, and announced himself, I raaaaan up three flights of stairs to get to him. I just knew it was one of my packages, and I was bursting with excitement. The first thing I did was dig through it looking for the photos of the kids I had packed, and as soon as I found them, I could have cried. I miss them sooooooo much. Those photos mean the world to me right now.
They aren't recent photos. They're just the photos I could find as I hurried to get things packed up. And I have about six of K and only 2 of M, basically because most of M's were already in frames that had been boxed away by the time I was looking (M is older, so more of his stuff has had a chance to be framed). But I know have a bunch of photos on my desk, and somehow, it is a little easier to feel comfortable in this "strange office" with them sitting there.
I am so homesick. Yesterday I walked into a Staples (office supply) store and nearly burst into tears from the comfort of a familiar smell-- even if that familiar smell was only the plastic binders and printer ink. M is having a hard time too. Today we were talking on the phone and he started sobbing uncontrollably, "Mama....airplane...mama...airplane." My heart is so heavy, I fear it might stop.
Friday, August 17, 2007
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3 comments:
Oh, that just breaks my heart. I've only been away from Sir H for one night at a time, when he spends the night with my parents a block away, and even then, my heart aches. Even when they're sleeping, I look at their pictures and miss them. I can't imagine how hard it must be on you. You're in my thoughts. (())
I've read some of your stuff on the adoption forum on Mothering, so hopped over here. I can't imagine what you're going through and I hope it resolves itself sooner than later.
Thank you so much for visiting Kristyn! It is so wonderful to have friends online who are holding my hand through this.
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