Two things.
First, I am slowly working on re-writing my missing post, the letter to my children, and I will post it again as soon as I have it done. I think it will be worth the wait.
Second, remember waaaaay back in October (2008) when I posted this link: http://www.chrismartenson.com/crashcourse. I hope if you didn't watch it then, that you will now. I am very interested in discussing this with other folks.
Showing posts with label My Kids Are Great. Show all posts
Showing posts with label My Kids Are Great. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
"The Panics"
So our van has been out of use for several months. We hope its just the alternator (vs. something electrical), but we have to wait and save up money for it to be checked out. Anyway, so the car has been sitting in front of the house, and every once in-a-while, the kids talk about how we can't drive it until we take it to the "panics." That's how they mis-pronounce "mechanics." Fitting.
When I need to take a car to the mechanic, it definitely induces panic :-).
I just wanted to post this so I have it written down somewhere and don't forget it. Toooooo cute!
When I need to take a car to the mechanic, it definitely induces panic :-).
I just wanted to post this so I have it written down somewhere and don't forget it. Toooooo cute!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Belonging
I am really lucky to have met my wife at nineteen.
Rarely, at various moments over the years, I have wondered what it would have been like to have had more time for dating, for total freedom and independence, for trying on different relationship identities, and growing alone. But the truth is, when I met G, I knew within months that I wanted to marry HER and have children with HER.
G and I have been really different people from the start. We shared a complimentary sense of humor, some common core values, and a few similar interests (a love of water perhaps the most critical), but our families of origin, our life experiences, our theological understandings, our educational interests and histories, our hobbies and likes, our approaches to everything from money to goal setting, and even the music we listened to most were vastly different.
Over the years, we've had many jokes about how different we were when we met. We used to say that if we had met just a few years earlier, we might not have even liked one another, let alone fallen in love. For a while, I joked that my family must be paying G to date me.
Now, over a decade later, G and I have found that while we've grown together in many ways, we've also grown in very different directions. We share more in common now, but this is largely because we've built a life together. As individuals, sometimes we have wondered if now we have less in common than when we met.
I no longer see many commonalities as necessary to a deeply fulfilling marriage. Not a day has gone by since the day I met G when she hasn't helped me in some way to grow as a human being. I am a very different person than I was at nineteen, not in spite of my marriage, but because of it.
More than anything, what I find in my marriage, is a "deep knowing." G knows me as fully as a human being as probably anyone ever will, and she chooses love. There is something that is deeply fulfilling in receiving true-knowing followed by true, authentic, willing love. In my marriage, in my home, in the family G and I have created together, I belong. That's a feeling unlike any other...belonging.
I am starting to think most people spend their lives in various emotional and mental states that relate to belonging. And starting to think that one of our spiritual tasks is finding a sense of peace in an eternal belonging.
Rarely, at various moments over the years, I have wondered what it would have been like to have had more time for dating, for total freedom and independence, for trying on different relationship identities, and growing alone. But the truth is, when I met G, I knew within months that I wanted to marry HER and have children with HER.
G and I have been really different people from the start. We shared a complimentary sense of humor, some common core values, and a few similar interests (a love of water perhaps the most critical), but our families of origin, our life experiences, our theological understandings, our educational interests and histories, our hobbies and likes, our approaches to everything from money to goal setting, and even the music we listened to most were vastly different.
Over the years, we've had many jokes about how different we were when we met. We used to say that if we had met just a few years earlier, we might not have even liked one another, let alone fallen in love. For a while, I joked that my family must be paying G to date me.
Now, over a decade later, G and I have found that while we've grown together in many ways, we've also grown in very different directions. We share more in common now, but this is largely because we've built a life together. As individuals, sometimes we have wondered if now we have less in common than when we met.
I no longer see many commonalities as necessary to a deeply fulfilling marriage. Not a day has gone by since the day I met G when she hasn't helped me in some way to grow as a human being. I am a very different person than I was at nineteen, not in spite of my marriage, but because of it.
More than anything, what I find in my marriage, is a "deep knowing." G knows me as fully as a human being as probably anyone ever will, and she chooses love. There is something that is deeply fulfilling in receiving true-knowing followed by true, authentic, willing love. In my marriage, in my home, in the family G and I have created together, I belong. That's a feeling unlike any other...belonging.
I am starting to think most people spend their lives in various emotional and mental states that relate to belonging. And starting to think that one of our spiritual tasks is finding a sense of peace in an eternal belonging.
Monday, July 6, 2009
"Here come the boogie boards!"
I finally had a chance to tag along with my family on one of G's regular trips with the kids to the beach.
I have been missing way too many (read: all) beach trips this summer, and it feels like I am working all the time yet getting nothing done. I can't get this time back with my family, so while the beach will always be there (though goodness knows there is no where I'd rather be than at the beach) I really need to prioritize these beach days higher.
The Fourth of July was a good day to go ahead and play hookie because, well, it's a friggin' holiday and that is what people do! We got a little bit of absolutely heavenly beach time in that afternoon. It was AWESOME! G had been telling me how great it is there with the kids now, and I agree.
G's sister loaned us some boards, thus I found out the kids are starting to boogie board! We could have easily spent the whole day there if only we hadn't needed to fit in a nap! And with G's sister there to watch the kids for a few minutes at a time, G and I fit in a little body surfing.
When I think of the Fourth of July this year, I'll think of M and K running to the water, boogie boards in tow, with K grinning ear to ear and shouting "here come the boogie boards!" I really wish I had photos. It was sooooooo much fun.
That night there was a report that the police were cracking down on fireworks, even though there is no longer a city show, but we went back to the beach anyway, and found that there was quite an impressive number of fireworks. It was incredible to watch, albeit slightly scary.
What a good day.
I have been missing way too many (read: all) beach trips this summer, and it feels like I am working all the time yet getting nothing done. I can't get this time back with my family, so while the beach will always be there (though goodness knows there is no where I'd rather be than at the beach) I really need to prioritize these beach days higher.
The Fourth of July was a good day to go ahead and play hookie because, well, it's a friggin' holiday and that is what people do! We got a little bit of absolutely heavenly beach time in that afternoon. It was AWESOME! G had been telling me how great it is there with the kids now, and I agree.
G's sister loaned us some boards, thus I found out the kids are starting to boogie board! We could have easily spent the whole day there if only we hadn't needed to fit in a nap! And with G's sister there to watch the kids for a few minutes at a time, G and I fit in a little body surfing.
When I think of the Fourth of July this year, I'll think of M and K running to the water, boogie boards in tow, with K grinning ear to ear and shouting "here come the boogie boards!" I really wish I had photos. It was sooooooo much fun.
That night there was a report that the police were cracking down on fireworks, even though there is no longer a city show, but we went back to the beach anyway, and found that there was quite an impressive number of fireworks. It was incredible to watch, albeit slightly scary.
What a good day.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Having a large quantity vs. having a large amount: value
Recently I've written a lot of good blog posts in my head, but I am sorry to report that now that I finally have a chance to sit down and write, they have all escaped my head.
That said, I do have an interesting child development report regarding my son, M.
Earlier this year, I tried to introduce M. to the idea of counting money, and also saving/donating/investing/spending money. I had hoped it would be a math, economics, social justice, and sensory (coin recognition) exercise that we could work through in multiple ways during Montessori as well as through a very small-change allowance. He took little, if any, interest.
However, lately he's begun asking for more things, and I've had to say no quite a bit. Sometimes I have a reason in addition to financial limitations, but not always. When money is the only reason, I've taken an honest, though not (I hope) fear-inspiring, approach with him. "I don't have money for that" is an answer that seems to be satisfactory at least half of the time still, particularly when I can think quickly enough on my feet to redirect his interest to something fun we can do together.
Today he told me he wanted to eat at a restaurant. I told him I didn't have money for it. "Yes you do, you have a lot of money! Do you want me to show you where it is?" he replied. "Sure," I said (I'll admit that I was secretly hoping he'd found some forgotten dollar bills somewhere in the house). And he disappeared into my bedroom. He returned a moment or two later with a jar of change that I generally use for tolls, but that contains mostly pennies. "Look! You have a lot of money here!"
I asked him, "M, do you want to know how much money this is?" and he eagerly nodded his head. We began counting. I told him that a hundred pennies is equal to one dollar. By twenty pennies, he had tired of counting, and left the work to me. By thirty or forty pennies, apparently tired of waiting for the tally, he was telling me, "that is one hundred...that's a dollar." I kept at it, and finally we got to one hundred pennies. There was still a little bit of random change left, including some more pennies, so I counted that too and added it in. I actually was pleasantly surprised it was as much as it was, close to $3.00!
"See!" M. declared victoriously, "we can eat at a restaurant."
So then we had a talk about what $3.00 could buy, and how it is a lot of money in a way, but not a lot of money when it comes to things like eating at restaurants. I got out the kids' "piggy bank" again. I gave the kids the quarters that were in the change jar, and made sure they added one to each section of the piggy bank (it's actually a "cow bank," a Christmas gift for the kids from my mother!): one for saving, one for spending, one for investing, and one for donating. I told them I would give them more when I could. Trying to think of something that would really motivate them, and inspired by my friend Sara's ice cream-allowance connection from when her kids were a bit younger, I told the kids that when they had about 16 quarters, it should be enough for each of them to get an ice cream treat at the corner store.
They were really excited about this, though I worried a bit about whether they could wait as long as it would take to collect 16 quarters. Still, I felt good because it seemed like M. at least had a starting point to make the connection that just because you have a large quantity of coins doesn't mean that you have a large amount of money. It seems like a good basic math and economics lesson.
Then my alternative to going to a restaurant to eat was to take the kids to a new park, in a neighborhood near us that we hadn't explored yet. We had to drive there, and when we arrived, we found an ice cream truck in the parking lot. Yikes! This had M. digging in every nook and crannie of the car, where he found a total of about five pennies, which he insisted could buy him some ice cream afterall! When I finally convinced him five pennies wasn't enough, he took up the idea that he could wish 100 pennies into existence to make a dollar, simply by saying that is what he had. I told him I wasn't even sure if they sold anything for a dollar anyway. It took some convincing for him to let go of the idea, and I was a tiny bit tempted to let him go up to the truck and try and buy something just so he'd believe me. I guess we still have a ways to go, but I still feel excited that he is starting to pick up on the difference between quantity and value.
It makes me feel like giving up my debit card for a bit, so he can watch me grocery shop with cash, and help me keep track of what I am spending. I wonder if I could carry an envelope with a certain amount of cash and coins, and hand him the right amount of money (approximately) for each item I am purchasing so that he can physically watch the amount change as we decide on purchases.
I also wonder if there are any printable charts on the internet that outline for kids about how much it costs to buy a variety of items (from a gumball to an ice cream cone to a toy truck). If not, maybe I'll make him one. Meanwhile, we'll keep counting change when he shows some interest. I'm curious to watch how this kind of knowledge will develop for him.
That said, I do have an interesting child development report regarding my son, M.
Earlier this year, I tried to introduce M. to the idea of counting money, and also saving/donating/investing/spending money. I had hoped it would be a math, economics, social justice, and sensory (coin recognition) exercise that we could work through in multiple ways during Montessori as well as through a very small-change allowance. He took little, if any, interest.
However, lately he's begun asking for more things, and I've had to say no quite a bit. Sometimes I have a reason in addition to financial limitations, but not always. When money is the only reason, I've taken an honest, though not (I hope) fear-inspiring, approach with him. "I don't have money for that" is an answer that seems to be satisfactory at least half of the time still, particularly when I can think quickly enough on my feet to redirect his interest to something fun we can do together.
Today he told me he wanted to eat at a restaurant. I told him I didn't have money for it. "Yes you do, you have a lot of money! Do you want me to show you where it is?" he replied. "Sure," I said (I'll admit that I was secretly hoping he'd found some forgotten dollar bills somewhere in the house). And he disappeared into my bedroom. He returned a moment or two later with a jar of change that I generally use for tolls, but that contains mostly pennies. "Look! You have a lot of money here!"
I asked him, "M, do you want to know how much money this is?" and he eagerly nodded his head. We began counting. I told him that a hundred pennies is equal to one dollar. By twenty pennies, he had tired of counting, and left the work to me. By thirty or forty pennies, apparently tired of waiting for the tally, he was telling me, "that is one hundred...that's a dollar." I kept at it, and finally we got to one hundred pennies. There was still a little bit of random change left, including some more pennies, so I counted that too and added it in. I actually was pleasantly surprised it was as much as it was, close to $3.00!
"See!" M. declared victoriously, "we can eat at a restaurant."
So then we had a talk about what $3.00 could buy, and how it is a lot of money in a way, but not a lot of money when it comes to things like eating at restaurants. I got out the kids' "piggy bank" again. I gave the kids the quarters that were in the change jar, and made sure they added one to each section of the piggy bank (it's actually a "cow bank," a Christmas gift for the kids from my mother!): one for saving, one for spending, one for investing, and one for donating. I told them I would give them more when I could. Trying to think of something that would really motivate them, and inspired by my friend Sara's ice cream-allowance connection from when her kids were a bit younger, I told the kids that when they had about 16 quarters, it should be enough for each of them to get an ice cream treat at the corner store.
They were really excited about this, though I worried a bit about whether they could wait as long as it would take to collect 16 quarters. Still, I felt good because it seemed like M. at least had a starting point to make the connection that just because you have a large quantity of coins doesn't mean that you have a large amount of money. It seems like a good basic math and economics lesson.
Then my alternative to going to a restaurant to eat was to take the kids to a new park, in a neighborhood near us that we hadn't explored yet. We had to drive there, and when we arrived, we found an ice cream truck in the parking lot. Yikes! This had M. digging in every nook and crannie of the car, where he found a total of about five pennies, which he insisted could buy him some ice cream afterall! When I finally convinced him five pennies wasn't enough, he took up the idea that he could wish 100 pennies into existence to make a dollar, simply by saying that is what he had. I told him I wasn't even sure if they sold anything for a dollar anyway. It took some convincing for him to let go of the idea, and I was a tiny bit tempted to let him go up to the truck and try and buy something just so he'd believe me. I guess we still have a ways to go, but I still feel excited that he is starting to pick up on the difference between quantity and value.
It makes me feel like giving up my debit card for a bit, so he can watch me grocery shop with cash, and help me keep track of what I am spending. I wonder if I could carry an envelope with a certain amount of cash and coins, and hand him the right amount of money (approximately) for each item I am purchasing so that he can physically watch the amount change as we decide on purchases.
I also wonder if there are any printable charts on the internet that outline for kids about how much it costs to buy a variety of items (from a gumball to an ice cream cone to a toy truck). If not, maybe I'll make him one. Meanwhile, we'll keep counting change when he shows some interest. I'm curious to watch how this kind of knowledge will develop for him.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
A Photo
This last weekend we had our Celebrating Adoption session with the gracious MA photographer, Megan Peck. She just emailed us that she posted one of the photos on her blog: http://www.meganpeckphotographyblogspot.com/. Enjoy!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
A Couple More Cute, Quick Stories
Today I was watching the kids play on these "cars" the person who used to own our house left for them. After a while, M pulled his car up next to K's and said, "Do you want to have a conversation?"
Also, G told me that a few days ago when they were visiting with G's sister, M cleaned up his "dirty joke" for his aunty. M and K have this ongoing joke they tell at home. It is simply:
"Poo poo in the egg!" Followed by giggling.
Our rule is that they can stay stuff like that at home, when we don't have guests, but that they may not talk about things like pee and poop in front of others, or when we are out and about. So, to his aunty, M said:
"Aunty B...bubble in the egg!" Followed by giggling.
It's impossible not to laugh at a beginner joke teller who thinks his jokes are hilarious, so she laughed. But she really appreciated the humor later when G told her that this was a cleaned up "dirty joke."
Also, G told me that a few days ago when they were visiting with G's sister, M cleaned up his "dirty joke" for his aunty. M and K have this ongoing joke they tell at home. It is simply:
"Poo poo in the egg!" Followed by giggling.
Our rule is that they can stay stuff like that at home, when we don't have guests, but that they may not talk about things like pee and poop in front of others, or when we are out and about. So, to his aunty, M said:
"Aunty B...bubble in the egg!" Followed by giggling.
It's impossible not to laugh at a beginner joke teller who thinks his jokes are hilarious, so she laughed. But she really appreciated the humor later when G told her that this was a cleaned up "dirty joke."
Monday, May 4, 2009
Sweet Big Brother Moment
With two kids eleven months apart in age, there can definitely be moments of sibling rivalry, fighting, and all the rest.
But then there are these incredibly sweet and tender moments when I remember that my kids are truly best friends too, and that they love each other dearly.
Ever since M's birthday party at the firestation, almost every day, the kids have wanted to read the fire-safety coloring books that the firefighters gave them. There is stuff in there about creating a fire safety plan with your family, including a safe meeting place outside your house.
M has said all kinds of cute things about this, including insisting that our meeting place should actually be at church because that is a good, safe spot LOL. I told him that we had to meet somewhere that he could go by himself, in case mamas couldn't get out of the house. We had decided on the basketball hoop in the driveway we share with our neighbor. That's because we don't want the kids out by the street, and the driveway is a safe distance away from the street, and up a little hill. The hoop is on our neighbor's side of the driveway. Of course, since we normally don't let the kids go out on the driveway without supervision, this was a bit alarming to M. Tonight he asked about K getting out to the meeting spot. He seemed a bit worried until he said with confidence, "I will hold her TIGHT and keep her safe!"
He followed that up with, "When she is four, she can go out by herself like me [if there is a fire]."
They love each other so much!
But then there are these incredibly sweet and tender moments when I remember that my kids are truly best friends too, and that they love each other dearly.
Ever since M's birthday party at the firestation, almost every day, the kids have wanted to read the fire-safety coloring books that the firefighters gave them. There is stuff in there about creating a fire safety plan with your family, including a safe meeting place outside your house.
M has said all kinds of cute things about this, including insisting that our meeting place should actually be at church because that is a good, safe spot LOL. I told him that we had to meet somewhere that he could go by himself, in case mamas couldn't get out of the house. We had decided on the basketball hoop in the driveway we share with our neighbor. That's because we don't want the kids out by the street, and the driveway is a safe distance away from the street, and up a little hill. The hoop is on our neighbor's side of the driveway. Of course, since we normally don't let the kids go out on the driveway without supervision, this was a bit alarming to M. Tonight he asked about K getting out to the meeting spot. He seemed a bit worried until he said with confidence, "I will hold her TIGHT and keep her safe!"
He followed that up with, "When she is four, she can go out by herself like me [if there is a fire]."
They love each other so much!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
They're Growing Up!
Today was M's fourth birthday party. It was at the firestation (tip for parents of preschoolers: firestations are a great birthday party activity, and they usually offer tours for groups of kids for as little as a plate of brownies...this is M's second firestation party), followed by cake at the church. The kids played on firetrucks, saw the firefighters raise and climb the super high ladder, watched a fireman slide down a pole into the firetruck garage, saw a firefighter dressed in fire gear, turned the lights on in the firetrucks, heard the sirens, watched a couple trucks take off for real-life emergencies, were given firesafety coloring books and pencils, and basically had an all-around blast.
We had at least fourteen kids I think, though I lost count LOL. Originally seventeen had RSVP'd! Fourteen or more preschoolers +the firestation +partying at the church=exhausting! And our exhaustion was compounded when G's father hit his head very hard on the car door on the way over, resulting in a probable concussion, and got quite ill. He hung on until the end of the party, but did take off for the ER afterward. Nonetheless, G. had to stay back with him at the church during the firestation portion of the party (sad), and G's sister and mom were unable to help with setup. I should have taken tomorrow as one of my Sunday's off. I am here at work trying to get ready for the day tomorrow and just completely brain dead.
Hmmm...this seemed to be an ER/car themed week as well, come to think of it. Friday I spent the day in the ER with M after he slammed his finger in the car door. It was very swollen and looked awful, but it turned out it was not broken, and it looks much better today.
Anyway, so the kids are growing up. K celebrated her third birthday last month, and here M is turning four. Whew! Every year, it cracks me up how M seems to like to time his developmental leaps around his birthday ;-). He learned to use the toilet almost overnight right around his third birthday. We had backed off from working on it with him, and suddenly, he turned three, and he was out of diapers. He has, however, continued to need diapers overnight until now, suddenly, he is waking up dry almost every day and from almost every nap. It looks like he'll be entirely out of diapers any day now.
He just seems like such a "kid" now. He now helps his sister with all kinds of tasks, in this "big brotherly" way that is somewhat new and so sweet. He is making leaps and bounds into independence. I even let him go by himself for introductions with a neighbor whose name he didn't know. The neighbor was working in his yard across the street, and M asked to go make introductions by himself. So I stood on the sidewalk, told M when it was safe to walk, let him cross and ask the neighbor his name (and tell the neighbor his own name), and then had him wait across the street until I told him it was safe to cross. Being a new englander (out here people seem to think it is best to "give others room"), I think the neighbor might have thought it was a little weird for M to come over and make introductions, but M was really proud of himself! I was proud of him too. I never would have *dreamed* of letting him do this even a month ago, maybe even a couple of weeks ago. He just was too unpredictable. But now at four he is shifting into complete focus and attention to detail. He was ready to follow the rules, and I could tell.
I also love how now M calls this neighbor by his name. Whereas before he was just "the neighbor," now he is J. We were having a picnic on the front porch the other day and a car alarm went off somewhere in the distance. As we listened to the faint alarm sounds, M. said, "do you think J hears it?" Something so sweet about it, and it warms new england by at least a degree for me.
We had at least fourteen kids I think, though I lost count LOL. Originally seventeen had RSVP'd! Fourteen or more preschoolers +the firestation +partying at the church=exhausting! And our exhaustion was compounded when G's father hit his head very hard on the car door on the way over, resulting in a probable concussion, and got quite ill. He hung on until the end of the party, but did take off for the ER afterward. Nonetheless, G. had to stay back with him at the church during the firestation portion of the party (sad), and G's sister and mom were unable to help with setup. I should have taken tomorrow as one of my Sunday's off. I am here at work trying to get ready for the day tomorrow and just completely brain dead.
Hmmm...this seemed to be an ER/car themed week as well, come to think of it. Friday I spent the day in the ER with M after he slammed his finger in the car door. It was very swollen and looked awful, but it turned out it was not broken, and it looks much better today.
Anyway, so the kids are growing up. K celebrated her third birthday last month, and here M is turning four. Whew! Every year, it cracks me up how M seems to like to time his developmental leaps around his birthday ;-). He learned to use the toilet almost overnight right around his third birthday. We had backed off from working on it with him, and suddenly, he turned three, and he was out of diapers. He has, however, continued to need diapers overnight until now, suddenly, he is waking up dry almost every day and from almost every nap. It looks like he'll be entirely out of diapers any day now.
He just seems like such a "kid" now. He now helps his sister with all kinds of tasks, in this "big brotherly" way that is somewhat new and so sweet. He is making leaps and bounds into independence. I even let him go by himself for introductions with a neighbor whose name he didn't know. The neighbor was working in his yard across the street, and M asked to go make introductions by himself. So I stood on the sidewalk, told M when it was safe to walk, let him cross and ask the neighbor his name (and tell the neighbor his own name), and then had him wait across the street until I told him it was safe to cross. Being a new englander (out here people seem to think it is best to "give others room"), I think the neighbor might have thought it was a little weird for M to come over and make introductions, but M was really proud of himself! I was proud of him too. I never would have *dreamed* of letting him do this even a month ago, maybe even a couple of weeks ago. He just was too unpredictable. But now at four he is shifting into complete focus and attention to detail. He was ready to follow the rules, and I could tell.
I also love how now M calls this neighbor by his name. Whereas before he was just "the neighbor," now he is J. We were having a picnic on the front porch the other day and a car alarm went off somewhere in the distance. As we listened to the faint alarm sounds, M. said, "do you think J hears it?" Something so sweet about it, and it warms new england by at least a degree for me.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Mom and Baby Yoga
Here are my kids, back in Jan. following along to a "mom and baby yoga" DVD. Pretty darn cute, huh?!
This post has a specific purpose and may not be permanent, so comments are unecessary :-).
This post has a specific purpose and may not be permanent, so comments are unecessary :-).
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Scary (and Cute)
Today K. and I were talking about nursing. She had asked about whether I have milk in my boobs. K. of course did not nurse, as it isn't allowed in foster care, but she knows that some kids get their milk from nursing. I told K. that when she is an adult, she can nurse her babies (if she is a mama).
She corrected me, "No, when I am a teenager."
I said, "No, when you are an adult you can be a mama," to which she incredulously and firmly replied, "No! When I am a teeeeeenager!"
She corrected me, "No, when I am a teenager."
I said, "No, when you are an adult you can be a mama," to which she incredulously and firmly replied, "No! When I am a teeeeeenager!"
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Sad
I just opened an email newsletter from the HANDLE institute to learn that its founder, Judith Bluestone, died this February. Our family experience with HANDLE was tremendously powerful, and Judith's book The Fabric of Autism: Weaving the Threads Into a Cogent Theory (which I personally prefer in audio format) remains on my all-time favorites list.
What sad news!
On a totally different note, here is another blog I neglected to put on my list. This is a mom I know from "elsewhere on the internet." She blogs periodically. Please note that she has music on her blog, so you'll want to turn down your speakers if you are at work or have a sleeping babe next to your speaker or anything like that ;-). http://adventureswithboandboo.blogspot.com/
(Added link to original post 3-10-09)
What sad news!
On a totally different note, here is another blog I neglected to put on my list. This is a mom I know from "elsewhere on the internet." She blogs periodically. Please note that she has music on her blog, so you'll want to turn down your speakers if you are at work or have a sleeping babe next to your speaker or anything like that ;-). http://adventureswithboandboo.blogspot.com/
(Added link to original post 3-10-09)
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Dancin' Yogis
I think K. and M. really could use some time at the Dancin' Yogis class here:
http://www.mamasmove.com/?page_id=11
This is a someday thing to go on a wish list for sure! Doesn't it sound like a cool idea?!
http://www.mamasmove.com/?page_id=11
This is a someday thing to go on a wish list for sure! Doesn't it sound like a cool idea?!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Random Legalizing Our Marriage Ideas
At our renewal of our vows when G. and I get legally hitched, I think we should say a family vow too. I think the kids should be allowed to run freely on the beach during the ceremony, but that we should try to call them back for our family vow. And we should do a blessing of our rings-- perhaps in silence with our hands over them -- a symbol of our love and commitment. And bless sturdy but beautiful anklets we make for the kids too, and give them their anklets as a special gift. We should have four anklets, though, and bless the two for children not yet here. I think we should burn our regrets and send them afloat in the water so that they may be purified and made right again with this crazy wild and big universe.
I think our ceremony/ritual should be relaxed and intimate and follow its own rhythm. I think we should basically just exist in our own little world in those moments.
I keep thinking of the fertility ritual from the movie Chutney Popcorn, and the beauty of just being present with the power of our own hearts.
By the way, if you all haven't seen this yet, you should, because everybody should be so lucky.
I think our ceremony/ritual should be relaxed and intimate and follow its own rhythm. I think we should basically just exist in our own little world in those moments.
I keep thinking of the fertility ritual from the movie Chutney Popcorn, and the beauty of just being present with the power of our own hearts.
By the way, if you all haven't seen this yet, you should, because everybody should be so lucky.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Antidote to Saccharine Laced Anthologies
Here is a book coming out sometime in the next few months, and it is going to be very good: http://shortbusbook.blogspot.com/. I hope you all will pick up a copy.
Way back when, when the editors were first calling for submissions, this was the vision they described for their book: "My Baby Rides the Short Bus will be an antidote to the saccharine laced anthologies that exist for special needs parents. It will give punk, alternative, and marginalized parents a place to write about their realities."
I'm sure it will be interesting and moving reading for anyone, whether you have a kid with a so-called-special-need or not!
Way back when, when the editors were first calling for submissions, this was the vision they described for their book: "My Baby Rides the Short Bus will be an antidote to the saccharine laced anthologies that exist for special needs parents. It will give punk, alternative, and marginalized parents a place to write about their realities."
I'm sure it will be interesting and moving reading for anyone, whether you have a kid with a so-called-special-need or not!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Yesterday's Music
I realized yesterday that one interesting thing I could post periodically on my blog is what music my kids are listening to. We don't have IPODs or anything, so thank goodness for things like the internet where we can find a variety of music when we don't have it on hand.
What my kids listened to yesterday:
- Pink (until I decided the kids were listening too closely to the lyrics of "So What")
- Rihanna
- Mediterranean Lullabies (one of two naptime standards)
- The Cure
- Kid Cudie
- Regina Spektor
- Bob Marley
- The Beattles
- The Cranberries
- Judy Collins
- Nanmo Amituofo
- Bruce Springsteen
- The Murmurs
Sunday, February 15, 2009
A Valentine's Day Request About My Birthday, To My "True Love"
Over the Christmas season my kids learned the song "12 Days of Christmas" pretty much in its entirety. There is nothing sweeter than hearing my two and three year old belt out, "On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me." So, sometime toward the end of the season, M. asks me, "Mama, who is your true love?"
That is a three year old question to make a heart melt alright. I don't want to forget that one.
I told M. that my beautiful children and my beautiful wife are my "true loves." He liked that answer, but I wonder if he thought I was cheating a bit to name them all. So on this Valentine's Day, I'll choose the romantic meaning of the phrase "true love." Here's a letter to my wife, G. about not a Christmas gift wish, but a birthday wish. (Just in case she reads my blog.)
Dear G.,
My 30th birthday is coming up and you've been asking for ideas of how to make it special. Other than wanting to spend it with you and the kids, there are few things I want or need. Of course I dearly wish we could all go visit Colorado or that our folks there could come visit us, but I know that isn't possible so let me tell you something else that would make my heart sing:
Honey, let's get legal. Ever since we moved here we've put off going to get our marriage legalized, but its a great joy to be able to do so and we really ought to do it for so many reasons. The reason that we've put it off is because you know I want to make it all romantic and renew our vows and all that, and you're afraid I'll invite people and you'll have to talk in front of everyone like at our wedding. So let me make this deal with you. Why don't we do a private renewal of our vows on the beach with the kids, with only the number of witnesses required. We can have a small party with everyone else afterward to celebrate if you want. But otherwise, let's dress up and take pictures, but make it a quiet elopment and a family thing. That would be a great way to celebrate my 30th birthday month. Because sweetie pie, I love you, and nothing would be bliss like being your lawfully wedded wife :-).
Love, S.
That is a three year old question to make a heart melt alright. I don't want to forget that one.
I told M. that my beautiful children and my beautiful wife are my "true loves." He liked that answer, but I wonder if he thought I was cheating a bit to name them all. So on this Valentine's Day, I'll choose the romantic meaning of the phrase "true love." Here's a letter to my wife, G. about not a Christmas gift wish, but a birthday wish. (Just in case she reads my blog.)
Dear G.,
My 30th birthday is coming up and you've been asking for ideas of how to make it special. Other than wanting to spend it with you and the kids, there are few things I want or need. Of course I dearly wish we could all go visit Colorado or that our folks there could come visit us, but I know that isn't possible so let me tell you something else that would make my heart sing:
Honey, let's get legal. Ever since we moved here we've put off going to get our marriage legalized, but its a great joy to be able to do so and we really ought to do it for so many reasons. The reason that we've put it off is because you know I want to make it all romantic and renew our vows and all that, and you're afraid I'll invite people and you'll have to talk in front of everyone like at our wedding. So let me make this deal with you. Why don't we do a private renewal of our vows on the beach with the kids, with only the number of witnesses required. We can have a small party with everyone else afterward to celebrate if you want. But otherwise, let's dress up and take pictures, but make it a quiet elopment and a family thing. That would be a great way to celebrate my 30th birthday month. Because sweetie pie, I love you, and nothing would be bliss like being your lawfully wedded wife :-).
Love, S.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
R.I.P. Chubby and Wubby
Well, there was a surge of excitement yesterday evening around our house when we went to pick up our first African Dwarf Frogs. They were promptly and affectionately named "Chubby" and "Wubby" by the kids.
We acclimated them to the tank, and although we discovered at that time that Wubby obviously had a crushed claw (poor thing...we're 98% certain it was pre-purchase), Chubby at least seemed in good spirits and eager to explore the tank. She was extremely cute! We sat and watched the two of them for a half hour or more as they acclimated, and after the kids went to bed, and the frogs were in the tank and swimming around, I went and watched them for another half hour or more. They were mesmorizing, and I worried about Wubby but had a good feeling that Chubby was going to do just fine. She was alert and active, but also seemed comfortable.
Besides, we'd done all the "right" things for the tank preparation. The tank water had received a dose of "de-chlorinator" and sat there for a week, which was plenty of time to get rid of the chlorine. The water temperature was set automatically by a thermostat. We'd covered the filter intake feed with a clean and rinsed old nylon sock so the frogs wouldn't get sucked in.
I decided to wait until the morning to feed them, as the pet store said they did feedings everyday, and I didn't want to overwhelm them in their first night. I went to bed feeling optimistic.
This morning G. informed me that she went to check the frogs and that they were not looking good. Neither was moving. Wubby was at the bottom of the tank on his back. Chubby was floating at the top (which African Dwarf Frogs often do, as it makes it easier for them to "come up for air," so I wasn't convinced yet). So G. went back in and poked Chubby, and she did not move but simply sunk. They were dead.
Poor, dear frogs. I am feeling pretty heartsick.
My research ahead of time had indicated these little guys are fragile and really put through the ringer prior to coming home. It is rather stressful for them, all the transitions, and they may be sick even before coming home. I had heard they often die in the first week or two (maybe even month), but after that, if they've lived that long, they typically do quite well. So I was prepared that we might have a death on our hands, but I had not thought it would be overnight. I feel awful.
We haven't decided what to tell the kids yet. I'm taking the frogs back tonight, but before we get the new ones I think I may need to clean out the tank and put in new water just in case there is no bacteria or fungus in there from these frogs. On the other hand, the frogs we would get tonight would be from the same batch that the first ones came from, so they'd likely have all the same issues anyway.
I don't know.
I never would consider lying to the kids about this except that our dog Blue's death was pretty hard on M., and he had mixed feelings about the frogs from the start because he was worried about them dying (K. on the other hand was thrilled out of her mind). I also know that they'll have to face frog deaths at some point, and I'm just not sure *how many* I want them to face in a row, given how quickly these deaths occurred. Ack! This is one of the toughest mama decisions for me in recent history.
Edited to add: I did end up telling the kids. M. asked me tonight if the frogs were out of their pet shop bag and in the tank yet (I think he had a feeling something was up), and I looked at him and didn't have the heart to lie. I told him that the frogs had died overnight. He asked where they were. I said they were stored in a container in a closet until I could bring them back to the pet shop (which was supposed to happen tonight, but now it will have to wait for first thing tomorrow because the kids took too long going to bed). He asked why and I told him that I had to take them back so we could get new ones. He wanted to know how the pet shop would bury the frogs. I told him I didn't know (which is true, though I didn't mention that they don't likely bury dead frogs). After that, on the surface he took it in stride. I hope this just means he didn't get too attached. K. also took it in stride, but I think that is partly because she has no clue as to what exactly death means. Not that M. really "gets" it, but he gets it enough to not want it to happen to his animals.
This experience does make me glad I discouraged M. from the names he most wanted for the frogs: Nikki and Blue. Those were/are the names of our dogs, Blue (rest his soul) and Nakara (who sleeps by me as I write this now). I would have felt very weird having perished frogs with the dogs' names. But I do wonder why M. wanted them to share the names, and if it had anything to do with his worry that the frogs would die and his feelings about Blue's death.
We acclimated them to the tank, and although we discovered at that time that Wubby obviously had a crushed claw (poor thing...we're 98% certain it was pre-purchase), Chubby at least seemed in good spirits and eager to explore the tank. She was extremely cute! We sat and watched the two of them for a half hour or more as they acclimated, and after the kids went to bed, and the frogs were in the tank and swimming around, I went and watched them for another half hour or more. They were mesmorizing, and I worried about Wubby but had a good feeling that Chubby was going to do just fine. She was alert and active, but also seemed comfortable.
Besides, we'd done all the "right" things for the tank preparation. The tank water had received a dose of "de-chlorinator" and sat there for a week, which was plenty of time to get rid of the chlorine. The water temperature was set automatically by a thermostat. We'd covered the filter intake feed with a clean and rinsed old nylon sock so the frogs wouldn't get sucked in.
I decided to wait until the morning to feed them, as the pet store said they did feedings everyday, and I didn't want to overwhelm them in their first night. I went to bed feeling optimistic.
This morning G. informed me that she went to check the frogs and that they were not looking good. Neither was moving. Wubby was at the bottom of the tank on his back. Chubby was floating at the top (which African Dwarf Frogs often do, as it makes it easier for them to "come up for air," so I wasn't convinced yet). So G. went back in and poked Chubby, and she did not move but simply sunk. They were dead.
Poor, dear frogs. I am feeling pretty heartsick.
My research ahead of time had indicated these little guys are fragile and really put through the ringer prior to coming home. It is rather stressful for them, all the transitions, and they may be sick even before coming home. I had heard they often die in the first week or two (maybe even month), but after that, if they've lived that long, they typically do quite well. So I was prepared that we might have a death on our hands, but I had not thought it would be overnight. I feel awful.
We haven't decided what to tell the kids yet. I'm taking the frogs back tonight, but before we get the new ones I think I may need to clean out the tank and put in new water just in case there is no bacteria or fungus in there from these frogs. On the other hand, the frogs we would get tonight would be from the same batch that the first ones came from, so they'd likely have all the same issues anyway.
I don't know.
I never would consider lying to the kids about this except that our dog Blue's death was pretty hard on M., and he had mixed feelings about the frogs from the start because he was worried about them dying (K. on the other hand was thrilled out of her mind). I also know that they'll have to face frog deaths at some point, and I'm just not sure *how many* I want them to face in a row, given how quickly these deaths occurred. Ack! This is one of the toughest mama decisions for me in recent history.
Edited to add: I did end up telling the kids. M. asked me tonight if the frogs were out of their pet shop bag and in the tank yet (I think he had a feeling something was up), and I looked at him and didn't have the heart to lie. I told him that the frogs had died overnight. He asked where they were. I said they were stored in a container in a closet until I could bring them back to the pet shop (which was supposed to happen tonight, but now it will have to wait for first thing tomorrow because the kids took too long going to bed). He asked why and I told him that I had to take them back so we could get new ones. He wanted to know how the pet shop would bury the frogs. I told him I didn't know (which is true, though I didn't mention that they don't likely bury dead frogs). After that, on the surface he took it in stride. I hope this just means he didn't get too attached. K. also took it in stride, but I think that is partly because she has no clue as to what exactly death means. Not that M. really "gets" it, but he gets it enough to not want it to happen to his animals.
This experience does make me glad I discouraged M. from the names he most wanted for the frogs: Nikki and Blue. Those were/are the names of our dogs, Blue (rest his soul) and Nakara (who sleeps by me as I write this now). I would have felt very weird having perished frogs with the dogs' names. But I do wonder why M. wanted them to share the names, and if it had anything to do with his worry that the frogs would die and his feelings about Blue's death.
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