Why I am Going to Buy a Douche!

The dog got sprayed by a skunk.

Apparently tomato juice just covers up the smell, and doesn't get rid of the actual skunk oil (I tried it anyway, though, out of desperation at 2:00am). A dish detergent, baking soda, and vinegar mixture seemed to get more of the oil off, and helped quite a bit. But that smell, oh that smell. I can't get it entirely gone, off my hands, off the dog, out of the house.

So I heard Managisil (spelling?) douches work to de-skunk fur and skin. And now I am going to suck up my pride and go buy a dozen at the pharmacy.

I'll probably cut down a whole big bush in my yard too. It was part of the scene of the crime and absolutely reeks. I can't see saving it with douches, though I might try filling a weed sprayer nozzle with a douche mix.

This is nothing like the smell you get when you drive by somewhere a skunk has sprayed. Up close and personal, it has a totally different smell. It smells like some odd mixture of chemicals and burning tires. I don't even know how to describe it. I knew she got sprayed right away. I didn't let her in the house, and went straight to bathing her with tomato juice and then dish soap and then finally the vinegar, baking soda combo. Poor dog has not been allowed to go anywhere but the kitchen and then the basement since late last night. I just don't know how to even deal with the smell. It makes me want to climb the walls.

Something told me I shouldn't have let the dog out when she wanted around midnight last night (even though she was just acting like she had to go potty), and I should have listened to that inner voice of wisdom.

I Heart Pool Care

me, playing in a pool as a kid

Caring for my pool right now takes at least an hour every day (lately much more because [a] it has been raining every afternoon and [b] we're fighting a very mild-- knock on wood-- attack of algae). I hear once your pool is under control and you have the routine down, it can take as little as an hour per week. I do look forward to that because carving out an hour from my day without neglecting the precious time I have with my children is hard.

That said, I love my pool and I love doing pool care. I always hated yard work, and was never any good at it. Everything I wanted to grow died. Everything I didn't want to grow was impossible to get rid of. I found the heat unbearable in the summer, even in mild western Washington state, and a lot of sensory aversions were triggered by the work (as with other types of domestic work). I never felt strong or capable. G. liked it somewhat, but never had enough time for it, nor a natural knack really.

Now that we have far more pool than yard, I have a way to really contribute to our domestic life without wanting to leave my skin every minute of it.

Here are the top 10 things I love about caring for my pool:

10. It involves my brain. It involves chemicals. It involves science.

9. It makes me feel like I am outsmarting someone when I discover, for example, that the "shock" compound they sell at the pool supply store for $30 dollars for a few weeks worth of supply is really just 5.25% household bleach that I can get at the store for about $1.62 per week.

8. It is something physical...hard laborious work that I have to do in slow motion. You can't rush through it or it won't be effective. (Moving slowly seems to be my body's ambition in life, but I do like the feeling of being physical in any case.)

7. If I get too hot, I can dip my feet or dunk my head, as long as I am not applying chemicals (which is better done in the evening, when it is cooler, anyway).

6. It's impressive. People who look in the corner with all the pool equipment are overwhelmed by it just like I was at first. Even G. is still a little overwhelmed by it. But so far I am managing pretty well (knock on wood), which boosts my self-esteem.

5. I usually reward myself with a good swim after cleaning the pool. I LOVE swimming.

4. Even if I don't get to swim afterward, usually my family does, and it brings me soooooo much joy to be able to give this gift to them.

3. I really like the hum of the pool pump. It is soothing to me.

2. I don't have to get my hands dirty or touch too much stuff that trigger sensory aversions.

1. I can do it only semi-clothed, which is especially wonderful on hot and humid days when I can barely stand to get dressed to go to work, let alone to do physical labor.

The Stimming House

This picture might also be worth 1000 words:

So we have been in our new house for a little less than a week, and we are still mostly packed up in boxes. I think this is going to go much more slowly than I had been hoping. I just want to be in and settled.

But what is that behind those boxes that are sitting on our 3-season porch? Why...a pool! You just can't see it because I took this picture at night.

For our first couple days here, I didn't have much opportunity to get in the pool. G. and the kids were able to make it in once or twice, but I just couldn't seem to get the timing down. Finally, during the last three days, I've been able to fit in some time in the water each day.

K. has always really loved the water, and M. has been a bit more cautious. We have been on hiatus for a while now from our parent-child swim classes, in part because M. hated the coolness of the water. It is really nice now to have some control over the temperature.

What is interesting is that K. now seems a bit more insecure when we get into the water (it could just be the insecurity of moving coming into play), and also she is not tolerating the temp of the water quite as well. She wants to be in the pool with us, but seems very tentative once in. I am hoping once things settle, she too will settle into the house and life with a pool so she can enjoy herself in the water again.

M. on the other hand, in just these few days, has begun to relax tremendously and enjoy water again. He napped later than usual today, so G. took K. up to bed tonight at the usual time but M. stayed downstairs with me for a little extra time.

I asked M. if he wanted to go dip his feet in the pool, and he said that he did. We went out, and were dipping our feet, and not more than five minutes later, M. decided to go ahead and basically step down into the pool...in his clothes and all. He played very contentedly even as it began to rain. I let him stay in the pool because there were no signs of lightning, but I made him come inside the house once the rain started to come down more heavily.

This child who once seemed to have a mild sensory aversion to pools is now the last to get out of the pool. A transformation largely in this single week of daily swims. We are so lucky to have a pool in our backyard for no-pressure family swims. It beats parent-child weekly lessons hands-down. M. has been able to come into comfort with the water in his own way and in his own time this week. He even is comfortable enough now to let me just lightly support him with a couple of fingers while he tries some basic swimming moves (leg kicks, and basic arm paddling, which is still very rudimentary).

The pool is a great place for "stimming" activities: for rocking, for slow spinning, for kicking and splashing, for bouncing/jumping, for making patterns with the water. We all do these things naturally in bodies of water, especially children. But M. and I both love that it is a built in feature of this house.

We also set up the computer yesterday, and I was playing some music off my mom's blog. M and I were tilting our heads back, looking at the ceiling, and swaying from side to side as we listened to it (along with bouncing and dancing too). The ceiling in the sunroom is a drop ceiling...a nice one, though, as drop ceilings go. The squares are soothing to look at when swaying. Very stimmy, and very soothing, and very bonding.

M's been enjoying some floor space in the living room to work on his new 24-piece puzzle (the pieces are quite large, and the puzzle is something like 2.5 x 3 feet when completed). He can do that puzzle again and again and again with complete focus as long as K. is busy doing something else. Yesterday, he lined up all his matchbox cars across the sunroom and then pronounced proudly to me, "Did it, mama!" Yes, baby, you did!

Even though our lives are still very much in upheaval here, our new home feels so right and good. And very stimmy-friendly. Hooray!

Just a Few Houses Down

Just a few houses down from the house we put an offer on, there is this house:

MLS # 7 07 2 1030

(To see this listing, go to http://www.remaxadvantage.com/search.asp?search=standard&agentid=104861, scroll down to where it asks for the MLS number, and plug in the number but take out all the spaces.)


The listing price is $122,000 more than the listing price on the house on which we have our offer. When I saw that, I felt pumped! "Talk about a great deal we're going to get" I thought. And the houses looked about the same size, so I was thinking they are comparable. Now I have a chance to sit down and actually look.

So, to keep my head on my shoulders, below is what a person gets for $122,000 more than what we are offering on a house just down the street by a short row of houses that all look about equivilant. I am not placing a value judgement on the following. Sometimes something will be both a pro AND a con (for example, more space equals higher utilities, more to maintain, and more to clean, but also means some room to grow, etc.) With old houses like these, a lot of times it is also comparing apples and oranges. The price comparisons are interesting, but may or may not tell the whole story. Each house has its own character.

For $122,000 more on the same street...
1. 1,000 more square feet
2. An additional bedroom, and ALL bedrooms are large.
3. 0.2 fewer acres. A yard with nice child-friendly landscaping...but no pool either.
4. Granite countertops
5. Natural gas as the fuel source
6. A partially finished basement, with a fireplace (but as far as I can tell, this is the only one)
7. Three sets of stairs to climb...four levels
8. A narrow staircase
9. One fewer garage spaces, but two more total parking spaces
10. The same number of bathrooms
11. Clapboard rather than vinyl siding
12. Water seeping into the basement in either house, sump pumps in both
13. No appliances, except for the range
14. A storage shed
15. A seller whose sale is subject to buying a new home-- in other words, sale is "subject to seller finding suitable replacement housing"
16. A walk up attic
17. A security system
18. A house that is two years older

Now here is something that blows my mind: with that kind of square footage, why are they paying $2,646 in taxes when I would be paying $3,247? Doesn't something seem to be terribly "off" here.

I talked with my dad tonight, and he took the opportunity to forewarn me about the cost of upkeep for pools. I knew that they would be an extra cost, but I didn't think it would be as bad as he made it sound. Like I wasn't already worried enough about the higher mortgage than our previous house and the higher taxes. (And the fact that G. is not currently working.) But my dad knows relatively first hand about pool care, since his parents have one. Ugh.

Time for cold feet I think. I ALWAYS get it.

But my dad and I laughed about it and said that the "best I can hope for right now" is that my "offer does not get accepted." I think I'll be freaked out both ways: if I get it and if I don't. Ah, the joys of house-hunting.

The House-Hunting Report

Here's what I wrote on one of my message boards tonight:

We exhausted ourselves looking at houses today. It was completely, utterly tiring. Honestly, I would be willing to put an offer on any of them (they all have good points and bad points), but none of them make both G. and me smile except for one:



http://www.remaxadvantage.com/search.asp?search=standard&agentid=104861

MLS# 70 55 9 738 (take out the spaces)

Both G and I walked into this one and just felt really comfortable there. We like the layout, and it just FEELS good. I wanted to sit down and stick around. G. literally left *beaming.* She smiled ear to ear all evening thinking about it. The problem is that it is somewhat of a rehab project.

• It will need a new roof.
  
• All the shutters need replaced.


• Some of the windows still need replaced.


• The lead and asbestos need to be removed.


• It may need a small amount of electrical work (though it does have a brand new electrical panel).


• The kitchen will need some major work, and as a part of that project, we'd probably end up converting a "bonus" room right next to the kitchen into a bathroom and laundry room combo.


• The basement is very wet. It has an ancient drainage system that would need to be replaced and it needs a sump pump or two.
• There is an old oil furnace (luckily sans asbestos). It would be in our best financial interest to update the heating system, converting it to a multi-zone gas-powered system (fortunately the house is gas metered).


• The (small) yard needs work and needs to be fenced.
  

Eventually the driveway will need to be repaved. It also needs a lot of cosmetic updating.

Much further down the line...we'd knock out that front entryway (it is unuseable right now...very, very, very musty...though rest assured that the rest of the house doesn't have that smell), and we would hopefully put in a porch or a deck.

I'm unsure about taking on a house like that right now. And I worry about the wet basement, in terms of longterm structural issues. I also think a rehab loan might knock us out of the running because right now I've heard they require 30% down and are more expensive loans.

Actually, there are some other downsides to the house as well, which would impact re-sale value. It is on a very busy street and right behind the house (next door, basically, as it is a corner lot), are several business (rather than more residences).

BUT we LOVE the house. It is a comfortable size and very likeable in soooooo many ways. And the location is very good (besides the busy street, which we actually appreciate because our kids like watching cars go by). And it is much cheaper than many of the other properties we've looked at.

I'm gonna talk to one of our mortgage people tomorrow and see if this is at all possible financially. The house has been on the market for a year. Most houses that have been on the market when it hit bottom have now sold. Not this one. The seller is motivated (although we have to consider that when they first listed, the house was listed at $240,000). I am really tempted to put in an offer of $180,000 or $185,000 (or less if the price of the work adds up enough to justify doing so) and just see what they do.

That makes dw nervous because she loves the house and wants to start offering at $190,000. I'm not ready for that yet. There is so much work.

Our agent is gonna give us the contact information for a contractor who will give us estimates for all the work. This will give us an idea of what is a fair offer and whether we can afford this either as a rehab loan or by reducing our downpayment to help cover the costs out of pocket.

We also have one other property that just came back on the market that we've asked our agent to see. We'll see what we decide to do. Stay tuned.

House Hunting This Weekend!

I am getting anxious about buying a house.

My agent says that buyers are coming back to the market in droves at the moment (after I asked her because it seemed like every house we liked got an offer before we could get in to see it).

I don't want to have sold at the absolute bottom of the market only to have to buy when the market is in full upswing.

I'm irritated.


So I asked our agent to show us a handful of houses on Sunday. I picked them out. Let me show you the one I like the best right at the moment:

Why do I like it so much?



Location...Location...LOCATION
+a front porch *and* a back deck!!

To see the full listing, go to http://www.remaxadvantage.com/search.asp?search=standard&agentid=104861, scroll down to where it asks for the MLS number, and plug in the following (but take out all the spaces):

70 744 9 18
(note: at some point I will take this down)


This house just might have the potential to make the house-hunting process joyful again. When I think about it, I get butterflies in my stomach.

BUT, it is not perfect. Here is the ol' pros and cons list:

PROS

• It is within our price range in a location I ADORE! I like the location because it is in an area of the city considered broadly to be desireable (good in terms of an investment), but it is in a more economically mixed portion of that area (good in terms of our souls). There are trees and sidewalks in the neighborhood (you'd be surprised by how little of that there is out here), and there appear to be families with children around. It is walking distance to a lot (at least in comparison to everything we've found in this city so far). I haven't even seen it all yet. A new vegetarian restaurant (seriously unheard of out here) just opened up a few blocks away (I swear we could single-handedly keep it open)!! From what I could tell, we could walk to at least a couple different restaurants (granted one is a faster-food type chain), to at least one if not two pharmacies, to a youth center with a basketball court and a very tiny park (see below under cons for some issues), to a "corner store," and MORE! You just don't get that kind of thing in most areas of this strip mall city. It is on a side of town that really appeals to me, despite being very congested through the route to my work...however, it is in the perfect spot because there is a short-cut I can take. It should be a ten minute drive to work, I think. The location makes me want to put an offer on it site unseen, for crying out loud! I swoon.
• As I said, it has a really cute porch! PLUS a nice looking, big deck!
• The backyard is perfectly level, very well-maintained and seemingly low maintance, and seems to be of decent size. It appears to be fenced, though the back portion of the fence would need to be replaced with something more dog-proof.
• It has a newer boiler, newer water tank, replacement windows, and vinyl siding.
• Supposedly the kitchen and bathroom have been updated.
• All appliances are included.
• Heating is by gas (much cheaper than oil), and the water heater also works by gas. Given the smaller size of the house, heating should be affordable.
• The house is pretty darn cute. Even cuter in person than in the photo.

CONS

• While I love the location, there are some issues with the location. On the next street over, there is a medium-size liqour store. Across from that there is a trashed out, ill-maintained Rite Aid (pharmacy). Though the house is less than a half mile from a park, it hardly deserves the title. The park is right on a majorly busy street. There is graffiti all over the park, and all it consists of a lonely slide and a few swings and *a lot* of litter. Though it is next to the youth center, it feels very sketchy, especially as night begins to fall. Also, across the street from the park is a commercially owned (though small) stadium. On one hand, I want to get involved in cleaning up and adding to that playground, but part of me thinks it's hopeless.
• This is another house with potential size issues. Again it is one the same size as our old house that we felt we had outgrown. I do feel that having porch and deck space increases the size of a home on some level, but we are a growing family.
• Also, a big red flag here is that the listed square footage differs greatly from public record (it is listed with a few hundred more square feet).
• The room sizes are not listed, and the rooms look small...especially that rinky, dinky supposedly updated kitchen. If any of the bedrooms is smaller than 10x10, we can't buy this house due to foster licensing.
• The bedrooms are divided between two floors. Ack! I don't know if I can handle that.
• Right now there are carpets everywhere. It says there are hardwoods under all carpets, but there is no way to know what condition they are in or even if this is true.
• There is only one bathroom, there is no fireplace (Waaaaaaaahhhhh...I really, really, really want a house with a fireplace damnit! A lot! How much does it take to add one?), and though there are four off-street parking spaces, there is no garage.
• There is likely lead, which means for foster licensing we'll be sinking a bunch of money into the house right away to de-lead. On the other hand, this is an issue with most of the houses out here.
• There is only one heating zone (more expensive, less efficient, and less environmentally friendly), and the heat is also by steam which is a potential issue with M's asthma.
• I am not a fan of wallpaper personally, and it has wallpaper in every room.
  

So what does it mean when you love the location in so many ways, but there are also other glaring location concerns?

And they say to always buy for location, but when does location trump other downsides?

I know, I know. I haven't seen it inside yet, and I could end up hating it. Plus, for all I know they'll already have accepted another offer by Sunday. And knowing my luck, this won't work out. But for now I can't stop thinking about it.