Hmmm. I guess this is evidence that divinity school may still be in the cards because I found myself wandering over to the Harvard Divinity School website today.
They are no longer accepting applications for '09-10. Folks are supposed to check back in the fall for 2010-11 application info. Why do I always think of this right *after* the application deadline?? Same thing happened last year. Oh well. It is probably not the time.
I did notice these statistics on the HDS website:
Class entering fall 2008:
Applied 677
Admitted 253
Incoming 160
MDiv 50
MTS 100
ThD 6
ThM 4
Students of color 24%
International 8%
Female 58%
Male 42%
Age range 21-58
Average age 27
Student religious affiliations more than 30
...and..."Financial aid is distributed on an equitable and sustained basis to all students who demonstrate financial need. The policies and practices of the office coalesce in producing a community of students pursuing scholarly and ministerial goals that embrace the ethnic, theological, and denominational diversity of our world."
Showing posts with label Family Ministry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family Ministry. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, December 15, 2008
Sunday, November 30, 2008
"We never did..."
It's holiday time! I now hear the Fiddler on the Roof song "Tradition" cuing up in my mind. I am a traditions gal. I love celebrating traditions!
A couple days before Halloween, my kids were practicing the song "Away in a Manger," which they will be singing in the Christmas pageant at church. I got down our creche as a visual aid to help them learn the words to the song. This is the creche my mother finally gave me after I begged her and begged her (if memory serves correctly). It was the creche she had when I was a kid, and I have many fond memories of looking at it and playing with it.
Just getting out my winter holiday boxes and going through them to find the creche filled me up with the stories of winters past. As I took out each item, I kept saying to G., "remember when..."
(Hey, remember that older SNL skit with the "remember when" guy. Yeah, that was funny.)
But this is an interesting time of year to study the way memory works. Memories are not straight-forward things. So many memories we carry are influenced by emotions and hindsite and the state of mind we are in when the event happens and then when we try to recall it.
My dad told me that he once took a class in which a professor asked everyone to recall their earliest memory. The professor then promptly informed them that in all probability, the memory was filled with complete inaccuracies.
Back when I took my first position as a religious educator, I heard many varied stories about my predecessors from the congregation I was serving. It is only now that I am beginning to understand the great number of which were likely not particularly accurate.
In the congregation I now serve, I am following the 25 year career of the religious educator before me. For 25 years she served the congregation in many different ways, through times of small programs and large, times of great activity and times of rest, times of trying new things and times of going with "the old standard." Different years called on different skills. There is only one thing I can be sure of, and that is that she wasn't the same religious educator in year 11 as she was in year 4, or in year 5 as she was in year 8. Of course she wasn't the same religious educator in year 25 as she was in year 1, but I am pretty sure she wasn't the same even in year 24 as she was in year 25.
I spent ten months functioning under the story that the congregation had never had a "Coming of Age" program (a rite of passage program for middle schoolers). That's the story I'd been given by multiple people on multiple occassions. In month eleven I discovered while sorting through old files that there had indeed been such a program for some stretch back in the 90s. Then suddenly when I mentioned it, several people said they remembered it clearly, but the stories of how it went varied wildly from what the actual written records.
This kind of thing happens all the time. "We've never done it like that before" is not only a line only a dying congregation uses, it is also a line used by a congregation that really probably wouldn't remember if it had been done like that before. Institutional memory only goes so far.
Heck, when I came to the congregation, I heard lots of stories about the religious educator before me not being a big fan of change. She'd run a very successful program one way for 25 years and wasn't interested in trying anything new. Then I get into my office and find a series of books on Godly Play in her closet-- that's a new methodology-- and I take her out to lunch and discover she had pushed to try Godly Play for some time but hit a wall.
So now its Christmas Pageant time, and I know that this time of year more than any I will hear, "But we've always done it this way," and "That's a new creative idea!" But I am going to assume that neither things are fully true, and try to listen more to the emotional undercurrent. Regarldess of how things were done in the past, those two statements translate (loosely) respectively into: "This is what I remember and treasure," and "I am tired of the same old thing and interested in getting out of perceived or real ruts!"
A couple days before Halloween, my kids were practicing the song "Away in a Manger," which they will be singing in the Christmas pageant at church. I got down our creche as a visual aid to help them learn the words to the song. This is the creche my mother finally gave me after I begged her and begged her (if memory serves correctly). It was the creche she had when I was a kid, and I have many fond memories of looking at it and playing with it.
Just getting out my winter holiday boxes and going through them to find the creche filled me up with the stories of winters past. As I took out each item, I kept saying to G., "remember when..."
(Hey, remember that older SNL skit with the "remember when" guy. Yeah, that was funny.)
But this is an interesting time of year to study the way memory works. Memories are not straight-forward things. So many memories we carry are influenced by emotions and hindsite and the state of mind we are in when the event happens and then when we try to recall it.
My dad told me that he once took a class in which a professor asked everyone to recall their earliest memory. The professor then promptly informed them that in all probability, the memory was filled with complete inaccuracies.
Back when I took my first position as a religious educator, I heard many varied stories about my predecessors from the congregation I was serving. It is only now that I am beginning to understand the great number of which were likely not particularly accurate.
In the congregation I now serve, I am following the 25 year career of the religious educator before me. For 25 years she served the congregation in many different ways, through times of small programs and large, times of great activity and times of rest, times of trying new things and times of going with "the old standard." Different years called on different skills. There is only one thing I can be sure of, and that is that she wasn't the same religious educator in year 11 as she was in year 4, or in year 5 as she was in year 8. Of course she wasn't the same religious educator in year 25 as she was in year 1, but I am pretty sure she wasn't the same even in year 24 as she was in year 25.
I spent ten months functioning under the story that the congregation had never had a "Coming of Age" program (a rite of passage program for middle schoolers). That's the story I'd been given by multiple people on multiple occassions. In month eleven I discovered while sorting through old files that there had indeed been such a program for some stretch back in the 90s. Then suddenly when I mentioned it, several people said they remembered it clearly, but the stories of how it went varied wildly from what the actual written records.
This kind of thing happens all the time. "We've never done it like that before" is not only a line only a dying congregation uses, it is also a line used by a congregation that really probably wouldn't remember if it had been done like that before. Institutional memory only goes so far.
Heck, when I came to the congregation, I heard lots of stories about the religious educator before me not being a big fan of change. She'd run a very successful program one way for 25 years and wasn't interested in trying anything new. Then I get into my office and find a series of books on Godly Play in her closet-- that's a new methodology-- and I take her out to lunch and discover she had pushed to try Godly Play for some time but hit a wall.
So now its Christmas Pageant time, and I know that this time of year more than any I will hear, "But we've always done it this way," and "That's a new creative idea!" But I am going to assume that neither things are fully true, and try to listen more to the emotional undercurrent. Regarldess of how things were done in the past, those two statements translate (loosely) respectively into: "This is what I remember and treasure," and "I am tired of the same old thing and interested in getting out of perceived or real ruts!"
Friday, November 21, 2008
What I've Learned
Okay, I've done a little research, and here is what I've learned...if I understood everything correctly:
1. The good: It looks like there is a such thing as "partial unemployment" if hours/wages are reduced by the employer. This would make it worth it to stick around.
2. The bad: I just saw that it looks like I would be ineligible for unemployment anyway because I work in service of a church.
1. The good: It looks like there is a such thing as "partial unemployment" if hours/wages are reduced by the employer. This would make it worth it to stick around.
2. The bad: I just saw that it looks like I would be ineligible for unemployment anyway because I work in service of a church.
Plan B
I am really worried about the economy and the security of my job. We had our monthly staff meeting yesterday, and things are not looking good. I am the last person to be hired here, and it is possible that this fact will influence me in being the first to go.
I've never been in such a position, and am completely ignorant. The scary thing is that we used up all of our savings during our move a little over a year ago when I came out for the job (my employer paid for a goodly sum of the move, except that the move went all wrong for a number of reasons including the economy and the struggle to sell our house...so things went haywire). I had hoped we'd have time to rebuild our savings, but we haven't...and that was a lot of money.
G. is starting to look for jobs, but she needs one anyway, even if my job continues to be secure. Despite this, her earning potential is relatively modest. Either way, until she finds a job, I am the sole bread-winner of the family.
I am praying hard and visualizing things working out. But what if they don't? I think it is time for me to do some prep, just in case.
If my employer decides to reduce my salary instead of lay me off, I may need to ask to either be fired (if they aren't satisfied with my work) or laid off (if the issue is truly just the money). My family is already stretched as thinly as we can be. We have a very, very modest budget. We simply couldn't make a lower salary stretch to fit, and this wasn't the agreement I had with my employer when I made the decision to move for this job.
Before I decide what my reaction should be if my salary is cut (which is only one of several potential scenarios...they might also just lay me off or fire me), I need to know if it makes a difference in terms of unemployment whether one is fired or laid off. I also need to know how much unemployment I would be able to collect (assuming I am looking for new work, which I will be) and for how long. And finally, I need to know how long it would take for the checks to kick in. Seems I have some research to do.
I'll keep you posted if I learn anything interesting.
I've never been in such a position, and am completely ignorant. The scary thing is that we used up all of our savings during our move a little over a year ago when I came out for the job (my employer paid for a goodly sum of the move, except that the move went all wrong for a number of reasons including the economy and the struggle to sell our house...so things went haywire). I had hoped we'd have time to rebuild our savings, but we haven't...and that was a lot of money.
G. is starting to look for jobs, but she needs one anyway, even if my job continues to be secure. Despite this, her earning potential is relatively modest. Either way, until she finds a job, I am the sole bread-winner of the family.
I am praying hard and visualizing things working out. But what if they don't? I think it is time for me to do some prep, just in case.
If my employer decides to reduce my salary instead of lay me off, I may need to ask to either be fired (if they aren't satisfied with my work) or laid off (if the issue is truly just the money). My family is already stretched as thinly as we can be. We have a very, very modest budget. We simply couldn't make a lower salary stretch to fit, and this wasn't the agreement I had with my employer when I made the decision to move for this job.
Before I decide what my reaction should be if my salary is cut (which is only one of several potential scenarios...they might also just lay me off or fire me), I need to know if it makes a difference in terms of unemployment whether one is fired or laid off. I also need to know how much unemployment I would be able to collect (assuming I am looking for new work, which I will be) and for how long. And finally, I need to know how long it would take for the checks to kick in. Seems I have some research to do.
I'll keep you posted if I learn anything interesting.
Monday, June 30, 2008
On the Importance of Pride
It is still (g/l/b/t/q) pride month, after all, so I might as well use this time to reflect and post a little more on the topic of being a biaffectional woman married monogamously to another woman, and having children together.
It's funny how with time, we come to insulate ourselves from some of the harshness of life. Important for survival, really, but also in some ways destructive because it allows prejudice and discrimination to become unchallenged, especially to the extent it is subtle (racism, for example, is so insidious now-- and dangerous in a significant but historically different way-- in large part because in many areas of the U.S. it has become incredibly subtle).
G. and I are certain that we were born to be the way we are. We are educated enough on the destructive nature of the "ex-gay" movement, and the ineffectiveness of the work of those who claim they are "curing" gays, to feel confident that trying to change this aspect of ourselves could literally kill us. I also feel theologically, morally, and ethically comfortable with my belief that our love for one another is true and worthy, and that real love-denied is God-denied. Our love does a dis-service to no one. If someone wants to claim otherwise, I defy them to provide real, solid, scientific proof. It just isn't true.
Since I am comfortable with who I am, and with who G. and I are as a couple, being a same-sex couple has become sort of a footnote in our lives. Contrary to what "gay liberationists" might claim, I haven't assimilated. I simply have integrated all the aspects of who I am into a whole being. I could want nothing more for my children than for them to live fully into their wholeness, and so it is also a gift to myself to do so. This is of great service to me and the other people in my life.
I always wanted to be a mother, since I was a very young child. Now I am. I have always wanted to get married, to live a married life. Not because that is an expectation placed on me by society as much as I find the idea of committing myself to someone in a monogamous relationship to be a spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally fulfilling approach to life. I am actually probably too lazy to do anything else, too.
I am true to myself, and that is something about which I feel very good.
G. and I are so comfortable with who we are, that we rarely any more feel the need to either fly a banner or to hide it. We do enjoying "flying the banner" at pride events and gathering with others who have experienced similar things to us at times, and at other times we are too scared to hold hands, for example, when we are taking a walk on the beach. Sure. We once were walking down the street without touching one another at all, not even talking in any way that indicated we were a couple, and a man spat at us and shouted in our faces "Fucking dykes. 9-11 is YOUR fault!"
But in our day-to-day life, we just are who we are. We get up, we go to work, we take care of our kids, we have doctor's appointments and parties to attend, we mow our lawn and fix the faucet, etc. etc. In all this, there are only brief, fleeting moments when I choose between living a life of truth vs. hiding. An example of one of those moments: when chatting with the grocery store clerk about why I can't remember the pin number on the debit card (embarrasing story from the other day), do I say, "my wife" or "my partner" (to make it more gender neutral) or "my husband" (I NEVER make this choice anymore...I don't want to live a lie) doesn't feel like changing the pin number to something I can remember. And if I make it gender neutral, how do I end the sentence without saying, "she?"
Despite those fleeting moments, I have found that 90% of the time, if I approach my relationship comfortably when relating to others, they do too. Our neighbors, the other mommies at my kids playgroup...whoever...even if they skip a beat, they too are able to generally integrate the wholeness of who we are into their understanding of the world and, often, embrace us. I even like to think that by us being who we are, they come to understand us no longer as some abstract threatening concept, but as real, kind, and loving human beings who are doing no harm by being who we are.
But sometimes the "skipping a beat," the difference between whether we are tolerated, or accepted, or embraced, and if just tolerated, at what level, those fleeting moments...they do come to weigh down on us, to harm us, and they do impact our quality of life and also the type of life our children will experience.
Within the last month or so, our family attended an event of significance. Our children were playing happily a short distance from us, and someone we didn't know who was standing just a step or two from them commented that they were cute and asked the hosts "whose children?" The hostess replied that they are ours, gesturing toward G. and myself. "Ooooooh," the questioner replied with some indication of discomfort and/or disapproval in her voice, "I didn't know THEY had kids."
I pretended not to hear because it just seemed easier, and I certainly didn't want to cause any disharmony at this occassion. I never know how to handle these situations, no matter how much they come up. But I am becoming more and more aware that my kids are listening to *everything,* and they do hear this stuff, and it does come across to them as an invalidation and questioning of their very family. As benign as this described scenario sounds, just imagine its weight on a small child, especially given that it is not an isolated type of incident.
Some have used this to argue that same-sex couples shouldn't have children at all. I find that argument utterly ridiculous. Should racial minorities not have children to protect young ones from racism? I mean, REALLY.
As I play the scene I just described back over and over in my mind, I can imagine different responses. Perhaps I could have said, for example, "Yes," as I walked over to my children, "they are ours." This would have said to my children, "I am proud and unashamed of our family." But I didn't, and honestly, I don't know if there is ever a perfect response to bigotry, even subtle, insidious bigotry.
So here we are, people whose very essence and value and basic human rights are questioned daily...right in front of our own children, even.
Recently, as if to remind me of the work still needed on this issue (and believe me, this is work I'd rather not have to do), I moved over 3000 miles with my family to a new home, a new community. All that insulation I had created was stripped. We were vulnerable again.
I learned a couple months ago that someone in the church quit immediately upon my hire, after reading my biography in which it is honestly stated that I am married to G. and that we have two children. This actually stunned me. In my life as a religious professional to date, it hasn't been an issue. I grew up so isolated from this type of thing, and my faith community (the same one I grew up in) is known for its welcoming of families like ours. So I nearly fell off my chair when I found out, but it is the ugly truth. Now, as our congregation moves slowly toward possibly working toward official "welcoming congregation" status, while the majority of the congregation is supportive or at least neutral, some of that prejudice is surfacing. I have already been questioned for not choosing to live in hiding. Like I said, it's not like I am waving the banner around or anything, but I am comfortable with who I am as well. Is this something unique to congregations in my new geographical region, or something more endemic that I have somehow been sheltered from in my approximately 30 years (give or take) in this faith?
It just goes to show, the prejudice is still there. The silent and muttered disapproval is burning a hole in my stomach, really. And for the sake of my children and yours, we ought to call it like we see it (all of us, gay, straight, or anywhere in between) so we can one day find these wounds finally healed...
Here's to doing my small part.
It's funny how with time, we come to insulate ourselves from some of the harshness of life. Important for survival, really, but also in some ways destructive because it allows prejudice and discrimination to become unchallenged, especially to the extent it is subtle (racism, for example, is so insidious now-- and dangerous in a significant but historically different way-- in large part because in many areas of the U.S. it has become incredibly subtle).
G. and I are certain that we were born to be the way we are. We are educated enough on the destructive nature of the "ex-gay" movement, and the ineffectiveness of the work of those who claim they are "curing" gays, to feel confident that trying to change this aspect of ourselves could literally kill us. I also feel theologically, morally, and ethically comfortable with my belief that our love for one another is true and worthy, and that real love-denied is God-denied. Our love does a dis-service to no one. If someone wants to claim otherwise, I defy them to provide real, solid, scientific proof. It just isn't true.
Since I am comfortable with who I am, and with who G. and I are as a couple, being a same-sex couple has become sort of a footnote in our lives. Contrary to what "gay liberationists" might claim, I haven't assimilated. I simply have integrated all the aspects of who I am into a whole being. I could want nothing more for my children than for them to live fully into their wholeness, and so it is also a gift to myself to do so. This is of great service to me and the other people in my life.
I always wanted to be a mother, since I was a very young child. Now I am. I have always wanted to get married, to live a married life. Not because that is an expectation placed on me by society as much as I find the idea of committing myself to someone in a monogamous relationship to be a spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally fulfilling approach to life. I am actually probably too lazy to do anything else, too.
I am true to myself, and that is something about which I feel very good.
G. and I are so comfortable with who we are, that we rarely any more feel the need to either fly a banner or to hide it. We do enjoying "flying the banner" at pride events and gathering with others who have experienced similar things to us at times, and at other times we are too scared to hold hands, for example, when we are taking a walk on the beach. Sure. We once were walking down the street without touching one another at all, not even talking in any way that indicated we were a couple, and a man spat at us and shouted in our faces "Fucking dykes. 9-11 is YOUR fault!"
But in our day-to-day life, we just are who we are. We get up, we go to work, we take care of our kids, we have doctor's appointments and parties to attend, we mow our lawn and fix the faucet, etc. etc. In all this, there are only brief, fleeting moments when I choose between living a life of truth vs. hiding. An example of one of those moments: when chatting with the grocery store clerk about why I can't remember the pin number on the debit card (embarrasing story from the other day), do I say, "my wife" or "my partner" (to make it more gender neutral) or "my husband" (I NEVER make this choice anymore...I don't want to live a lie) doesn't feel like changing the pin number to something I can remember. And if I make it gender neutral, how do I end the sentence without saying, "she?"
Despite those fleeting moments, I have found that 90% of the time, if I approach my relationship comfortably when relating to others, they do too. Our neighbors, the other mommies at my kids playgroup...whoever...even if they skip a beat, they too are able to generally integrate the wholeness of who we are into their understanding of the world and, often, embrace us. I even like to think that by us being who we are, they come to understand us no longer as some abstract threatening concept, but as real, kind, and loving human beings who are doing no harm by being who we are.
But sometimes the "skipping a beat," the difference between whether we are tolerated, or accepted, or embraced, and if just tolerated, at what level, those fleeting moments...they do come to weigh down on us, to harm us, and they do impact our quality of life and also the type of life our children will experience.
Within the last month or so, our family attended an event of significance. Our children were playing happily a short distance from us, and someone we didn't know who was standing just a step or two from them commented that they were cute and asked the hosts "whose children?" The hostess replied that they are ours, gesturing toward G. and myself. "Ooooooh," the questioner replied with some indication of discomfort and/or disapproval in her voice, "I didn't know THEY had kids."
I pretended not to hear because it just seemed easier, and I certainly didn't want to cause any disharmony at this occassion. I never know how to handle these situations, no matter how much they come up. But I am becoming more and more aware that my kids are listening to *everything,* and they do hear this stuff, and it does come across to them as an invalidation and questioning of their very family. As benign as this described scenario sounds, just imagine its weight on a small child, especially given that it is not an isolated type of incident.
Some have used this to argue that same-sex couples shouldn't have children at all. I find that argument utterly ridiculous. Should racial minorities not have children to protect young ones from racism? I mean, REALLY.
As I play the scene I just described back over and over in my mind, I can imagine different responses. Perhaps I could have said, for example, "Yes," as I walked over to my children, "they are ours." This would have said to my children, "I am proud and unashamed of our family." But I didn't, and honestly, I don't know if there is ever a perfect response to bigotry, even subtle, insidious bigotry.
So here we are, people whose very essence and value and basic human rights are questioned daily...right in front of our own children, even.
Recently, as if to remind me of the work still needed on this issue (and believe me, this is work I'd rather not have to do), I moved over 3000 miles with my family to a new home, a new community. All that insulation I had created was stripped. We were vulnerable again.
I learned a couple months ago that someone in the church quit immediately upon my hire, after reading my biography in which it is honestly stated that I am married to G. and that we have two children. This actually stunned me. In my life as a religious professional to date, it hasn't been an issue. I grew up so isolated from this type of thing, and my faith community (the same one I grew up in) is known for its welcoming of families like ours. So I nearly fell off my chair when I found out, but it is the ugly truth. Now, as our congregation moves slowly toward possibly working toward official "welcoming congregation" status, while the majority of the congregation is supportive or at least neutral, some of that prejudice is surfacing. I have already been questioned for not choosing to live in hiding. Like I said, it's not like I am waving the banner around or anything, but I am comfortable with who I am as well. Is this something unique to congregations in my new geographical region, or something more endemic that I have somehow been sheltered from in my approximately 30 years (give or take) in this faith?
It just goes to show, the prejudice is still there. The silent and muttered disapproval is burning a hole in my stomach, really. And for the sake of my children and yours, we ought to call it like we see it (all of us, gay, straight, or anywhere in between) so we can one day find these wounds finally healed...
Here's to doing my small part.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Determining The Title of My Memoir
First of all, happy birthday to me! Well it is the day after my birthday, but I stayed up late to start this post, and now I am going to finish it.
Given that it is my birthday, sort of, it's a good day for the following.
Given that it is my birthday, sort of, it's a good day for the following.
STRANGE CHILD (ME)September tagged me, and as my mom said, "it's a cool one - not too time-consuming," and I will add that it is as silly or as serious as you want it to be.
1. Write the title to your own memoir using 6 words.
2. Post it on your blog.
3. Link to the person that tagged you.
4. Tag five more blogs.
Okay, so in my high school journalism class, I was demoted from writing titles because I've never been good at them. This was harder for me than it ought to have been.
But I still had some fun with it.
Here are some titles I thought of...
- First, I had trouble with the six word thing. My early attempts included some word fudging. One of my favorites from that stage was Make a List, Graph It, Forgetaboutit! If you don't count "a" as a word, that helps. Anyway, anyone who knows me well knows I am a serious list maker, and that I graph and plan and scheme in a most serious manner, but 80% of the time I forget the project I've taken ever so seriously soon enough because I've moved on to the next one.
- Then I took this task more seriously for a bit, and thought of titles that represent the "core me." "They" say every preacher has one good sermon in them. It's possible I may have written mine, and that now everything is a variation. If I make it into a six word title, it is something like: Love Lived Freely, Fear Through Thee. Okay, actually, the sermon part may apply best to the first three words. And I am not sure if the title even makes sense now, the way I broke it down into six words. But basically, the idea is that the fundamental core of my life has been my attempt to live a life centered in LOVE, even when that has meant living (charging) through huge fears. I decided that if G. had her way, she would probably vote to transform the above title into something more like: Chaos...Love...Chaos: Fear Love Not, which probably reads even less smoothly than the one above, but is likely a more accurate description of the way I live my life. That is...dive in because love is the strongest value, live in the chaos that happens when love determines your course (think: our experiences as foster moms), then repeat! But fear not, for love is worthy. Along those same lines, I thought of Chaos, Love, Fear...Chaos, Love, Fear. I liked that one because I could imagine a series of chapters with each of those words as titles, repeating themselves over again as needed ("Chaos Part I," "Love Part I," "Fear Part I," "Chaos Part II"...you get the point). I think I could easily write about my life in this manner, but it really under-emphasizes love, which I believe to be the stronger and most important theme.
- That made me think of one I liked even better, but that may have involved more than six words depending on how you count them, and that sounded a bit unoriginal: She Was Called & So It Was. Still, that's a pretty good synopsis of my life, and the development of my family and vocation. The last or first words of the book would have to be "and it was good," from scripture.
- Similarly, I tried to summarize my life is six words, and PHEW! That's pretty much impossible. The best I could come up with was It’s Good, Just Not That Simple, but I didn't like that title. It sounded negative.
- Never Fully Understanding, Never Fully Understood were words I used when posting a comment on another blog. And I guess I do feel like my life does have that thread in it (especially the "never fully understanding..." must nod here to my own constant state of confusion LOL). But that probably is overly simplistic and would come off as negative even when I don't mean it to be so (oh, yes, because I will never be fully understood ha ha ha), and truly, my life IS good.
- So then I started thinking more about my personal characteristics. It reminded me of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. I couldn't remember all their names, but I could think of lots of good title words that could pass as their names even if they weren't really. Ones I came up with included: Sleepy, Grumpy, Happy, Dopey, Mopey, Sneezy. I also liked this one because it lended itself well to chapter titles, and I could easily shape my life to fit within these chapters. Sneezy would have to be a medical chapter, by the way, which could be very interesting. That said, only one chapter for "happy?" Hmmm. Had to move on.
- Thinking of my personal characteristics also immediately brought this one out: Her Obituary Was Written and Updated. Or I guess since it isn't a biography but rather a memoir, perhaps it should be My Obituary Was Written and Updated. G. will laugh at this one. She knows it's true. I've written my obituary. I have fill in the blank spots she can use for updates (add children or whatever), but it is otherwise done. And I go back every now and then to update it. What I still have to do, and plan on doing, is put together most of my memorial service. G. calls this morbid. For me, it has nothing to do with death really. It is absolutely 100% an expression of my love for her, a deep desire to take care of her, and my way of honoring what I know will be among the harder things for her if I die before her (G. does not enjoy writing, and she especially abhors articulating emotion in public). I think this title says something about the core of who I am and how I think. It also gets straight to the heart of my life because my family is the absolute most important thing in the world to me and the center of my universe in almost every way, shape, and form. After thinking up that title, I got it in my head that I could expand that concept for more flexibility in chapters. And here, I ended up fudging with the word limit again: She Wrote It Because She Lovesya. Alright, alright. It wasn't that good, so I'll go back to the word limit.
- In a moment of self-doubt I wrote a title I would never use, mainly because it is inaccurate, but I liked it anyway because it is reflective of some aspect of my inner life: Sturdy Girl Outside, Fragile Girl Inside.
- Poking fun of myself further, but also capturing some of my nature, I thought of: I Hate Change; Let’s Change It. It really needs seven words though. It would read much better as I Hate Change, but Let's Change It. The idea is that I have an ongoing love-hate relationship with change. G. will be the first to tell you that as soon as the dust settles, and I start to get comfortable, I feel the need to stir things up again...to change something. G. is always talking about when things in our lives settle down. The whole notion of "settling down" has become some mystical creature always around the corner. She has been talking about it for the ten years we've been together, and truly, especially since our move to the west coast, our lives are characterized by living in stirred dust. I have to take responsibility for that. I am always taking on projects (starting a charter school among my most recent desires for a potential project, for example), and changing big things (having babies, and so forth). I don't like being idle. At work, too. I often come off as unafraid, daring, willing to take risks, interested in big vision and the future. And yeah, that is largely how I am. However, on a huge level, I also hate change. I am the last to agree to a change in the rearrangement of furniture in my home. I often cry when traditions are altered in the slightest. I prefer to eat the same things for months on end (hmmm...more neurodivergence I suspect). I am cranky, irritable, and generally uncomfortable when things in my environment or the dynamics of my relationships change. Yep, it is love-hate for sure. What a nut!
- One of the more obscure titles I thought of was: It’s Late Or Never: I Choose… does that even read? The concept was alright, but it didn't translate well to six words. The idea was something along the lines of my slow movement through life, and the choices I have made often involving either "never" or "late." Clearly, however, if one can't describe the concept in a clear fashion, one isn't going to write a book on it, so I guess that one is out. Oh well, it was a very limited depiction of my life anyway.
- That said, the last one mentioned got me on a roll with the often eccentric, neurodivergent, unusual, funky, and slightly off-center relationship between my internal and the external world. One of the first titles I thought of along those lines was this: Isn’t That the Name, Villa Waffers? My parents and siblings will know immediately what I am talking about. I might have been eight years old, if memory serves, and my family was on a picnic. On our picnic table was a box of Vanilla Wafers. I'd eaten them before and was perfectly familiar with their name, but when I asked for them to be passed to me, I read the name off the box rather than recalling the name. Despite good reading skills, I misread the box. "Pass the Villa Waffers, please" I said. Now that I am on anti-seizure meds, I am starting to realize how this seemingly benign childhood event is a piece of a puzzle in a lifelong pattern. I am now coming to understand that this is a big part of "my story." Why was I unable to rely on memory recall to ask for the Vanilla Wafers? Even if I read the box, why hadn't I caught the difference between my memory of the name and what I was (mis)reading? The answer may in fact be a part of funky neurological wiring rather than just a silly childhood "moment" (sort of like the cliche, "senior moment"). But thankfully, the incident was met with good cheer and generally friendly, compassionate humor rather than mocking. My parents' home has long been nicknamed "Villa Waffers," and we still sometimes use this nickname in addressing correspondence.
- Thinking in those terms, I was able to come up with several rather highly apropos titles including: No, That Never Occurred To Me; Brilliance Wrapped Up in a Box; I’m Sure I Never Said That; and Glimpses of Brilliance Muted and Lost.
This led to my all time favorite so far. Here we go.......................
Perseveration, Stimming, Deep Pressure, Heavy Work
That would be it in a nutshell. I'd have a chapter with each word as its title, and I would divide up my life's story accordingly. This would be EASY. Each is a therapeutic term describing either neurodivergent behaviors or therapeutic techniques to address neurodivergent needs. People often do the therapeutic techniques naturally if their neurological systems need them, but if you ever go to Occupational Therapy or Speech Therapy, you might just be taught how to use the techniques in a more intentional way.
Anyway, I like the way it captures my life so well, and also captures my distinct interest (obssession...perseveration??) regarding all things medical/neurological in nature.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Reading List: 8 Categories, 8 Books For 2008 (8 x 8 in 08)
Okay, so I'm going to need to give myself an extension until June 2009, but I FINALLY completed my reading list for 2008. I already have books starting to go on a potential '09 list!!
Here it is: 8 CATEGORIES, 8 BOOKS EACH
From My Bookshelf-- Never Read ~or~ Started and Never Finished
1. Proust and the Squid: The Story and Science of the Reading Brain by Maryanne Wolfe
2. Daniel Isn't Talking (a novel) by Marti Leimbach
3. The Virgin Homeowner: The Essential Guide to Owning, Maintaining, and Surviving Your Home by Janice Papolous
4. Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge
5. Ahab's Wife: Or, the Star-gazer (a novel) by Sena Jeter
6. Black, White, Jewish: Autobiography of a Shifting Self by Rebecca Walker (this may be a re-read...I can't remember whether or not I finished it)
7. The Fruits of Our Labors: The Bicentennial History of the First Unitarian Church of Worcester 1785-1985 by Walter Donald Kring
8. The Ultimate Guide to Pool Maintenance by Terry Tamminen
Fictional Classics and Well-Knowns
1. A Tree Grows In Brooklyn by Betty Smith
2. Jane Eyre by Emily Bronte
3. The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky
4. Tin Drum by Gunter Grass
5. Life of Pi by Yann Martel
6. One Flew Over the Cukoos Nest by Ken Kesey (this is likely a re-read, but if so, I remember the play more vividly so would like to explore the book some more)
7. A Street Car Named Desire by Tennesee Williams
8. Animal Farm by George Orwell
Parenting
1. Becoming the Parent You Want to Be by Janis Keyser and Laura Davis (a re-read for the fourth or fifth time because I love it that much and it is dense so there is always more to "get..."plus, I am out of practice)
2. Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey
3. Conscious Discipline by Becky Bailey
4. Connection Parenting by Pam Leo
5. Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
6. Everyday Blessing: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting by Jon and Myla Kabat-Zinn
7. Buddhism for Mothers: A Calm Approach to Caring for Yourself and Your Children by Sarah Napthali
8. The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning To Listen Can Improve Relationships by Michael P. Nichols (indirect relationship to topic, but I still felt it was important)
Related to My Vocation
1. Practicing Resurrection: A Memoir of Work, Doubt, Discernment, and Moments of Grace by Nora Gallagher
2. Waking Up To What You Do by Diane Risetto
3. The Kingdom of God is Within You by Leo Tolstoy
4. Walk in the Light & Twenty-Three Tales by Leo Tolstoy
5. Emerson: The Mind on Fire by Robert D. Richardson Jr.
6. How Then, Shall We Live? Four Simple Questions That Reveal the Beauty and Meaning of Our Lives by Wayne Muller
7. Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence
8. Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross
Poetry and Fiction
1. Hardheaded Weather: New and Selected Poems by Cornelius Eady
2. Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
3. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
4. Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
5. Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
6. The Boat by Nam Le
7. America, America by Ethan Canin
8. Lady of the Snakes by Rachel Pastan
Nonfiction
1. Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions by Dan Ariely (on economics)
2. Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping With ADD From Childhood Through Adulthood by Edward Hallowell, M.D. and John Ratey, M.D. and/or Delivered From Distraction by Edward Hallowell
3. Unequal Protection: The Rise of Corporate Dominance and the Theft of Human Rights by Thom Hartmann
4. A Crime So Monstrous: Face-to-Face with Modern-Day Slavery by Benjamin Skinner
5. The Zen of Listening: Mindful Communications in the Age of Distractions by Rebecca Shafir
6. Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships by Sean Barron and Temple Grandin
7. Can't Remember What I Forgot: The Good News From the Frontlines of Memory Research by Sue Halpern
8. Nim Chimpsky: The Chimp Who Would Be Human by Elizabeth Hess
Children's Literature (any genre or age level)
1. Goldie the Dollmaker by M. B. Goffstein
2. Punk Farm by Jarrett J. Krosoczka
3. The Giver by Lois Lowry
4. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle (I am pretty sure this is a re-read, and that I read this as a child, but I don't remember it)
5. When a Monster is Born by Sean Taylor
6. A Kick in the Head: An Everyday Guide to Poetic Forms by Paul B. Janeczko
7. Be Quiet, Marina by Kirsten De Bear
8. The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick
Biographies and Memoires
1. Waiting: The True Confessions of a Waitress by Debra Ginsberg
2. Lucy's Story: Autism and Other Adventures by Lucy Blackman
3. I Had No Means To Shout by Mary Jane Gray Hale and Charles Martel, Jr. Hale
4. The Beautiful Struggle by Tanehisi Coates
5. The Woman Who Can't Forget: The Extraordinary Story of Living with the Most Remarkable Memory Known to Science by Jill Price
6. Step by Step: A Memoire of Hope, Friendship, Perseverance, and Living the American Dream by Bertie Bowman
7. A Remarkable Mother by Jimmy Carter
8. Things Seen and Unseen by Nora Gallagher
Here it is: 8 CATEGORIES, 8 BOOKS EACH
From My Bookshelf-- Never Read ~or~ Started and Never Finished
1. Proust and the Squid: The Story and Science of the Reading Brain by Maryanne Wolfe
2. Daniel Isn't Talking (a novel) by Marti Leimbach
3. The Virgin Homeowner: The Essential Guide to Owning, Maintaining, and Surviving Your Home by Janice Papolous
4. Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge
5. Ahab's Wife: Or, the Star-gazer (a novel) by Sena Jeter
6. Black, White, Jewish: Autobiography of a Shifting Self by Rebecca Walker (this may be a re-read...I can't remember whether or not I finished it)
7. The Fruits of Our Labors: The Bicentennial History of the First Unitarian Church of Worcester 1785-1985 by Walter Donald Kring
8. The Ultimate Guide to Pool Maintenance by Terry Tamminen
Fictional Classics and Well-Knowns
1. A Tree Grows In Brooklyn by Betty Smith
2. Jane Eyre by Emily Bronte
3. The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky
4. Tin Drum by Gunter Grass
5. Life of Pi by Yann Martel
6. One Flew Over the Cukoos Nest by Ken Kesey (this is likely a re-read, but if so, I remember the play more vividly so would like to explore the book some more)
7. A Street Car Named Desire by Tennesee Williams
8. Animal Farm by George Orwell
Parenting
1. Becoming the Parent You Want to Be by Janis Keyser and Laura Davis (a re-read for the fourth or fifth time because I love it that much and it is dense so there is always more to "get..."plus, I am out of practice)
2. Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey
3. Conscious Discipline by Becky Bailey
4. Connection Parenting by Pam Leo
5. Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
6. Everyday Blessing: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting by Jon and Myla Kabat-Zinn
7. Buddhism for Mothers: A Calm Approach to Caring for Yourself and Your Children by Sarah Napthali
8. The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning To Listen Can Improve Relationships by Michael P. Nichols (indirect relationship to topic, but I still felt it was important)
Related to My Vocation
1. Practicing Resurrection: A Memoir of Work, Doubt, Discernment, and Moments of Grace by Nora Gallagher
2. Waking Up To What You Do by Diane Risetto
3. The Kingdom of God is Within You by Leo Tolstoy
4. Walk in the Light & Twenty-Three Tales by Leo Tolstoy
5. Emerson: The Mind on Fire by Robert D. Richardson Jr.
6. How Then, Shall We Live? Four Simple Questions That Reveal the Beauty and Meaning of Our Lives by Wayne Muller
7. Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence
8. Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross
Poetry and Fiction
1. Hardheaded Weather: New and Selected Poems by Cornelius Eady
2. Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
3. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
4. Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
5. Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
6. The Boat by Nam Le
7. America, America by Ethan Canin
8. Lady of the Snakes by Rachel Pastan
Nonfiction
1. Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions by Dan Ariely (on economics)
2. Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping With ADD From Childhood Through Adulthood by Edward Hallowell, M.D. and John Ratey, M.D. and/or Delivered From Distraction by Edward Hallowell
3. Unequal Protection: The Rise of Corporate Dominance and the Theft of Human Rights by Thom Hartmann
4. A Crime So Monstrous: Face-to-Face with Modern-Day Slavery by Benjamin Skinner
5. The Zen of Listening: Mindful Communications in the Age of Distractions by Rebecca Shafir
6. Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships by Sean Barron and Temple Grandin
7. Can't Remember What I Forgot: The Good News From the Frontlines of Memory Research by Sue Halpern
8. Nim Chimpsky: The Chimp Who Would Be Human by Elizabeth Hess
Children's Literature (any genre or age level)
1. Goldie the Dollmaker by M. B. Goffstein
2. Punk Farm by Jarrett J. Krosoczka
3. The Giver by Lois Lowry
4. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle (I am pretty sure this is a re-read, and that I read this as a child, but I don't remember it)
5. When a Monster is Born by Sean Taylor
6. A Kick in the Head: An Everyday Guide to Poetic Forms by Paul B. Janeczko
7. Be Quiet, Marina by Kirsten De Bear
8. The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick
Biographies and Memoires
1. Waiting: The True Confessions of a Waitress by Debra Ginsberg
2. Lucy's Story: Autism and Other Adventures by Lucy Blackman
3. I Had No Means To Shout by Mary Jane Gray Hale and Charles Martel, Jr. Hale
4. The Beautiful Struggle by Tanehisi Coates
5. The Woman Who Can't Forget: The Extraordinary Story of Living with the Most Remarkable Memory Known to Science by Jill Price
6. Step by Step: A Memoire of Hope, Friendship, Perseverance, and Living the American Dream by Bertie Bowman
7. A Remarkable Mother by Jimmy Carter
8. Things Seen and Unseen by Nora Gallagher
Shout-Outs
You may have noticed I don't have any links, including links to other blogs, on the sidebar of this blog. Long story...but it is an OCD thing.
Anyway, it seems I at least ought to periodically post some shout-outs to those folks with whom I am keeping in touch. So here is what is up with some of the folks "in the neighborhood."
Anyway, it seems I at least ought to periodically post some shout-outs to those folks with whom I am keeping in touch. So here is what is up with some of the folks "in the neighborhood."
- My friend Sara introduced me to "flat traveling," an idea with which I immediately fell in love. Check it out: http://learningumbrella.homeschooljournal.net/2008/05/29/flat-traveling/ Turns out, though, it can be a bit of a disappointment in practice if you don't do it with folks you know who actually follow-through. So basically I've decided I need to secure myself a pal for my kidos in each state and elsewhere around the globe...sometime in the next couple of years ;-). Good thing my kids aren't quite old enough for this yet. It's bought me a little time LOL.
- Quinn from one of my parenting boards is worrying about her body, which makes me think of my little girl and whether she'll worry about her body too. Still, it is a big struggle I can relate to and I appreciate Quinn's honesty: http://rainbowmamajourney.blogspot.com/2008/05/i-am-not-beautiful.html
- My mom is introducing me to some fun animation set to music at http://ragtagsf.blogspot.com/. I never got into animation much, but this stuff is beautiful and interesting, and yes, appeals to me.
- The Rev. Ford passed on this artistic depiction of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights: http://monkeymindonline.blogspot.com/2008/05/universal-declaration-of-human-rights.html (advance notice: this declaration has thirty articles, so the video is about twenty minutes, but visually really interesting...I'd be interested in seeing artistic spin-offs of any type)
- The Rev. Ketchem is thinking about science and religion: http://mskittyssaloonandroadshow.blogspot.com/2008/05/importance-of-science-to-unitarian.html. I'm looking forward to when she posts her sermon because I love both science and religion, and I too find them closely intertwined in my life.
- The Rev. Ms. Peacebang is doing those new to ordained ministry a great service by sharing more good tips, this time on graveside services: http://www.peacebang.com/2008/05/29/graveside-ceremony/. It's actually an interesting read for *anyone* who might be attending a graveside service and is not experienced in such services. She also posted a book recommendation that sounds really interesting: http://www.peacebang.com/2008/05/29/practicing-resurrection-a-peacebang-review/. Good thing I've been slow to finalize my 8 x 8 in 08 list ;-). Oh yes, and on her other blog, Beauty Tips For Ministers, she is offering a worthwhile reminder universal to any human being to periodically update one's underwear rather than wearing it ragedy ol' andy like I have been lately: http://beautytipsforministers.com/2008/05/25/a-festival-of-inappropriate-sharing-at-the-festival-of-homiletics/
- I continue to pray for Little Warrior. The latest update is here: http://uuminister.blogspot.com/2008/05/just-update.html. I'm also trying to incorporate love through action into my life, and hope to be writing Lizard Eater with some stories soon: http://www.lovethroughaction.blogspot.com/. I encourage you to join me, even if you have no idea who this little kido is. Here is the short story at the top of the blog: "Little Warrior is my daughter. She's almost three and she's fighting cancer for the second time. Friends far and near have asked what they can do. We said, 'Show love through action.' Do a good deed, then let us know. We'll compile these in a book for Little Warrior to show her how love for her made the world a better place." If you want to better understand the idea you can check out: http://uuminister.blogspot.com/2008/05/what-you-can-do.html. Finally, I highly recommend you check out Little Warrior's "Happy Birthday" video. What a cutie: http://lovethroughaction.blogspot.com/2008/05/happy-third-birthday-little-warrior.html
And lastly, some "posting anytime soon?" shout-outs:
- My oldest sister hasn't posted for a little while, probably busy with the end of the school year and travel to VT and all. Last I heard, she was promising tips on moving. In the meantime, if you haven't visited her site (at least not recently), check out her new project, a rainbarrel: http://awfulbrothers.blogspot.com/2008/05/say-say-oh-playmate.html.
- My "little" brother (http://www.sunthroughleaves.blogspot.com/) and his wife (http://www.chickadeescout.blogspot.com/) are probably doing the newlywed bliss/lovebird hide-away time, or maybe they are traveling (I never did ask them about post-wedding plans), but before the wedding my brother did post some thought-provoking conversation starters on polar bears, government, and responsibility. And his wife-- also before the wedding, of course-- has been posting some great photos including of some delicious looking food she and my bro have whipped up and some of the plants in their lives.
- My nephew is apparently too busy learning how to use "the force" lately to post on his blog, but he's a cutie so here's my little auntie brag: http://amazingadventuresofdante.blogspot.com/2008/04/force.html
- My dad is a "weekend poster" and seems to have been too busy with the wedding and related travel, work crunches, etc. to have posted too recently, but I really, really appreciated his post on what a college education should be about: http://colin-quodlibet.blogspot.com/2008/05/what-to-learn-in-college.html. By the way, I heard a piece on NPR about a book discussing and critiquing universities as businesses as much as educational institutions, etc. Sounded interesting.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Timing is Everything
Today my supervising minister said that he heard from the senior minister this dangerous little tidbit:
There is a top university very near to me (which shall remain nameless) with something crazy like a 19 billion dollar endowment. The divinty school within that university is currently a focus of the university. They are supposedly encouraging folks to come to the seminary with *tremendously* generous amounts of financial aid. Through the grape-vine, apparently, the senior minister heard they are not only giving gobs of tuition assistance, but that they are even giving students/families apartments to live in during their studies. They have completed their application cycle for 2008-2009, but in September they will begin recruitment again for 2009-2010.
I'm not going to say anything else about this. Timing is everything, and sometimes timing just doesn't add up. I just want to say, hmmm.
There is a top university very near to me (which shall remain nameless) with something crazy like a 19 billion dollar endowment. The divinty school within that university is currently a focus of the university. They are supposedly encouraging folks to come to the seminary with *tremendously* generous amounts of financial aid. Through the grape-vine, apparently, the senior minister heard they are not only giving gobs of tuition assistance, but that they are even giving students/families apartments to live in during their studies. They have completed their application cycle for 2008-2009, but in September they will begin recruitment again for 2009-2010.
I'm not going to say anything else about this. Timing is everything, and sometimes timing just doesn't add up. I just want to say, hmmm.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Hooray!
Well, some good news from my day:
1. G's brother M (N's husband) test drove the car and said it was good. We have put down a deposit so that we can get an independent mechanic to check it out. I also looked up its true market value on http://www.edmunds.com/, and decided I could safely begin negotiating the price at $10,300...still a lot more than we had wanted to spend, but the car is virtually new.
2. I had one more person from the congregation call back to volunteer in the children and youth ministry for the coming year. I had four volunteer slots open, and now only three. I'd like to leave town with them all filled, so I can rest well knowing that I left things in fairly good shape.
3. Some funds that were needed for a special program in the children and youth ministry were granted generously by the executive committee.
4. G's supervisor called and they chatted for a bit. It looks like G is going to have some more time to decide whether she will resign now, or whether she will wait until after K's case is closed (thus extending our months of dual income).
I LOOOOOVE good news!!
1. G's brother M (N's husband) test drove the car and said it was good. We have put down a deposit so that we can get an independent mechanic to check it out. I also looked up its true market value on http://www.edmunds.com/, and decided I could safely begin negotiating the price at $10,300...still a lot more than we had wanted to spend, but the car is virtually new.
2. I had one more person from the congregation call back to volunteer in the children and youth ministry for the coming year. I had four volunteer slots open, and now only three. I'd like to leave town with them all filled, so I can rest well knowing that I left things in fairly good shape.
3. Some funds that were needed for a special program in the children and youth ministry were granted generously by the executive committee.
4. G's supervisor called and they chatted for a bit. It looks like G is going to have some more time to decide whether she will resign now, or whether she will wait until after K's case is closed (thus extending our months of dual income).
I LOOOOOVE good news!!
Comforts
Lest I appear to be full of only despair right now, I thought I would share a couple of things.
First, as painful as it is to be moving before my wife and children are able to move, I am very much looking forward to my new ministry. It is truly, truly, truly exciting, and I feel blessed to be partnering with this congregation. I also believe the time to get settled in my work there without the usual, daily family obligations will give me better roots.
Second, there are some things bringing me comfort at this time. I think a lot about the men and women in the military who go through indefinite periods of being apart from their families all the time. It is difficult, but none of us are alone. My wife and children and I do not know when we will be reunited, but I am blessed, as I am not facing combat, but rather making an exciting and positive move in my life. Over the long haul, this move is one G and I chose because it will be good for our family. And while we do face the possibility of loss during this time apart, if we are unable to adopt K, we have to believe that in all likelihood, the system will allow her to be with her birthfamily only if it is safe. We want an ethical adoption. We pray we are correct in our belief, and moreso, we pray that the judge will rule with not only her safety, but with her best interests in mind.
Another comfort is this:
I had the pleasure recently of listening to the Rev. Meg Barnhouse (http://www.megbarnhouse.com/). Her song, "All Will Be Well" (http://www.megbarnhouse.com/gpage.html) touched my faith deeply. She described the song as a conversation she has had in her head with the 14th century Christian mystic, Julian of Norwich. For an interesting sermon about Julian, check out: http://www.gracecathedral.org/church/sermon/ser_20070506.shtml. In any case, the song is tremendously comforting to me, and I have ordered the CD.
First, as painful as it is to be moving before my wife and children are able to move, I am very much looking forward to my new ministry. It is truly, truly, truly exciting, and I feel blessed to be partnering with this congregation. I also believe the time to get settled in my work there without the usual, daily family obligations will give me better roots.
Second, there are some things bringing me comfort at this time. I think a lot about the men and women in the military who go through indefinite periods of being apart from their families all the time. It is difficult, but none of us are alone. My wife and children and I do not know when we will be reunited, but I am blessed, as I am not facing combat, but rather making an exciting and positive move in my life. Over the long haul, this move is one G and I chose because it will be good for our family. And while we do face the possibility of loss during this time apart, if we are unable to adopt K, we have to believe that in all likelihood, the system will allow her to be with her birthfamily only if it is safe. We want an ethical adoption. We pray we are correct in our belief, and moreso, we pray that the judge will rule with not only her safety, but with her best interests in mind.
Another comfort is this:
I had the pleasure recently of listening to the Rev. Meg Barnhouse (http://www.megbarnhouse.com/). Her song, "All Will Be Well" (http://www.megbarnhouse.com/gpage.html) touched my faith deeply. She described the song as a conversation she has had in her head with the 14th century Christian mystic, Julian of Norwich. For an interesting sermon about Julian, check out: http://www.gracecathedral.org/church/sermon/ser_20070506.shtml. In any case, the song is tremendously comforting to me, and I have ordered the CD.
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