Yep!!

That's THE ONE.

I loooooooove it.

That said, here's the obligatory pros and cons list:

PROS

• The location is good, both for re-sale and for our purposes. There is stuff we can walk to, including a park.
• This house is totally move-in ready!
• The house is vinyl sided, so we won't have to worry about painting it. In this climate, this is a big issue because here houses need to be painted frequently.
• Most of the windows are updated.
• There is a new furnace.
• There is a lovely little inground pool-- K. will LOVE it.
• It is the perfect size. Not impossibly large, but not too small for our purposes either.
• Our agent thinks this house is likely underpriced, but it is not a foreclosure or a short sale. She just listed a house (without a pool) in this same neighborhood. It didn't have a garage and was listed at $267,000. She immediately received six offers. This is a DEAL (though the downside to that is that we're probably going to have to fight for this one, and it is already the top of our price range).
• All appliances are included in the price, and they are newer appliances.
• The mantel on the fireplace is beautiful, there is a window seat in the living room looking out to the front street (M will love it!) and there are a few nice built-ins and storage spaces throughout...including a nice built in bookcase in the smaller bedroom.
• The staircase is nice and wide (easier for moving furniture, and feels more comfortable too)
• There are a lot of windows, for great ventilation. The ceilings are somewhat high, which adds to the house's good open feeling.
• The house has been well maintained and feels like it is in good condition. The floors are also in relatively good shape.
• The master bedroom, while it doesn't have its own bath, is very close to the bathroom and is very large: 14x20 at least. A second bedroom is also a good size.
• There is a lovely sunroom type space on the first floor that could be used as an office or playroom, or for any number of purposes. It's great!
• There is an enclosed sunroom type porch next to the pool.
• The driveway is shared. Often this would be a big draw-back. However, there is still a two car garage (apparently with a garage door opener), the driveway is well maintained and wide enough for its shared use, and it also means maintance is shared with the neighbors (and word is, the neighbor's sons shovel it).
• The seller's agent is in the same office as our agent, which may give us some advantage in getting an offer accepted.

CONS

• This is at the top of our price range, and the taxes on this property are also rather high.
• There is not a real back or side yard. There is the pool, which is gated. Then there is also a paved area that the current owners have set up as a nice children's play space. In addition, there is a small area outside of the paved and pool areas. It currently has stones as well as a stone walkway, and a patio-swing. The no-yard factor is actually a pro for us because experience shows we can't maintain a yard very well. We have a very hard time with that. However, we do have a large dog to think about. On the other hand, our dog is 12 years old (so not buying a house because of her may not be adviseable), and there is a place for her to go outside even if not ideal.
• There is asbestos on some pipes in the basement. However, they are encased, so it would only be an issue if we decided to do updates. We'll talk to the inspector about it during the inspections.
• The roof appears to be older. It may need to be replaced in the next few years (we'll find out in inspections).
• The heat is by oil, and there is only one heating zone=expensive. This is something, however, that we could probably address in the years to come given that there isn't major work to do elsewhere in the home aside from the roof.
• One of the bedrooms is very small, probably 8x8 or something. And there is no room for expansion. This is an issue for foster licensing, but because one of the bedrooms is very large, if G. and I were willing to take the smaller one at some point, we should be able to continue being licensed for the number of children we would like to care for.
• There is likely lead paint inside that we'll need to get removed.
• There will be costs associated with maintaining the pool, though the good news is that it seems well-maintained currently and they have done some updates on it.
• There is no open, neighborly porch.
• The basement does get some water, which is VERY common in this city, particularly with this type of foundation (however, there is a sump pump and a dehumidifer already installed).

I've called our agent, and she is at a doctor's appointment right now. She is going to call the selling agent and get a feel for urgency. If there is not an offer on the table yet and no word of one yet, I will meet with our agent tomorrow at 11am to write one. Otherwise, her brother (another agent) will be writing the offer with me later today, or she may do it after her appointment. Updated at 4:30 to say that she checked with the selling agent and we were the first to come in. The next showing isn't until tomorrow at noon, so we'll be able to write our offer tomorrow at 11am. I am so nervous about getting this offer right, so we are competative but don't break the bank. I really, really, really WANT this house, and I KNOW it will get other offers. It is unfortunate that I will do this without G. having seen the property, but she said it sounds GREAT, so she is on board and excited. She just can't wait to see it.

Side note: The bad news is I was basically out of my office all day. I worked much of the day Monday (my usual day off), and a lot of Tuesday (despite missing my day off). My assistant had to be out both days for personal reasons. Today I was running late because I was seeing G. and the kids off to New York. Then G. called late this morning to say she got a flat tire. She usually can change a flat tire, but was having difficulty getting the tire off. She was on the Mass Pike and AAA said that when you are on the Mass Pike, they can't send somebody out. The state police have to come. The state police came, called somebody to help, but the folks were taking forever, and it was past the kids' nap time, and everyone was in quite a state. So I stayed on the phone with her until help arrived. Part of the time she had me on speaker phone talking to the kids, who were miserable, while she kept working to try to change the tire.

I came to my office this afternoon and found a note from my assistant saying she wasn't coming in tomorrow but would be in on Friday, and that she wouldn't have time to get several things done. I don't mind at all. But I called to check and make sure everything was okay, and she seemed short with me. I have been in late a lot lately, and I know that makes her work harder because we can't chat in person about stuff. I value her so much, and I am terrified that I have really let her down. I have such a knot in my stomach. I hope everything is okay with her and between us as well. She is amazing! I have always been paranoid about my own inadequacies, and whenever anything like this happens, I always assume I am making someone's life miserable and that our relationship is coming undone. I know there are a thousand other things that could be happening, but boo hoo! I am having super, super anxiety.

Could We Have Found It?

Hot off the press, this house just came on the market. Our agent previewed it and said it was nice.

She will be showing it to me at 2pm. I am eager to see it!

To see the listing, go to http://www.remaxadvantage.com/search.asp?search=standard&agentid=104861, scroll down to where it asks for the MLS number, and plug in the following number (but take out all the spaces):

MLS # 70 7 5 708 0

It has pros and cons. The location is not the one we've been eyeing most recently, but still pretty good (and very "desireable," which is always considerable for resale). I'll post more about it once I see it.

In Relation to the Rev. Wright, A Memo

Here is what I wrote to my congregation this week in our weekly newsletter. My apologies for any formatting issues. I took this from a copy clip that was unformatted, and the computer jumbled some words together, etc. I felt we would be remiss if we did not start speaking explicitly about liberation theology again in this ripe moment, while it is in the national conversation. I do believe that living religion can not distance itself from the world in which it is living.


R E L I G I O U S E D U C A T O R’ S M E M O
“Power As a Source of Power”

“All people have a major task, from cradle to grave, of defining who theyare” -- Na'im Akbar

My son M. woke up wanting to wrestle this morning. He walked over to me, not with blinking half-awake eyes as he sometimes does, but instead with wide open eyes, and a giddy grin on his face. “Arh!” he growled as he jumped onto me, indicating his playful initiation of our “mama lion-lion cub” game.

My wife G. commented the other day that M. has been something of a“class clown” lately. “Remember when he was just six months old and we werewriting down his personal strengths for that developmental assessment?” I asked her. “We did write that his number one strength was his sense of humor. It’s part of his identity.”

In 1982, B. Harro created a “cycle of socialization diagram” that I find useful. It is printed in the book Teaching for Diversity and Social Justice: A Sourcebook by Maurianne Adams. If you have internet access, plug "‘Cycleof Socialization Diagram’ +Harro” into Google, and it will bring you to Google Books (last link) where you can see the diagram in the book.

In this diagram, Harro postulated that we are “born into a world with mechanics in place. We have no blame...no guilt...no choice...limited information.” Through our lives, we are socialized, that is, taught on a personal level by parents, relatives, teachers, people we love and trust. We are shaped by their expectations, norms, values, roles, and models of how we should be. This is our lens of identity.

However, Harro went further to illustrate that we also have a lens of socialization and teaching, in which we are bombarded on conscious and unconscious levels with messages from institutions such as churches, schools, television, the legal system, medical and mental health systems, and businesses, as well as from the practices, lyrics, language, media, and patterns of thought of our culture.

Through this, our lens of identity is enforced, sanctioned, or stigmatized. We receive positive and negative feedback about ourselves. We receive privilege and persecution, discrimination and empowerment. This is our lens of experience.

Before G. and I were foster licensed in [state], we were required to take a thirty-hour foster parent training called “Parent’s Resource forInformation, Development, and Education (PRIDE).” During this course, we were asked to name the sources of our socialization: the people and institutions in our lives that have served to either shape us, or reinforceus. Participants in the class called out names: “Uncle Juan,” “my mother,Glory,” “Mrs. Smith, my third grade teacher,” “Dr. Narayan.” They named schools they’d attended, jobs held, employers, clubs, sports, and faith communities. They even named foods and drinks and the social settings for these, sources of media, and hardships or privileges they could count on.

As we did this, our facilitators wrote our responses on a dry erase board. We indicated the power of each source, and accordingly, our facilitators wrote the items we named closer to or further away from the center of a circle. Current sources were indicated by a solid line to the center. Sources from the past were indicated with a dotted line. Then we were asked to identify, in sequential order starting with parents and siblings, the losses that takeplace when a child comes into foster care. Soon, the whole board was altered beyond recognition.

Our lens of experience results in a variety of internal experiences that may include among other things dissonance, silence, anger, dehumanization, guilt, collusion, ignorance, self-hatred, stress, and internalization of patterns of power. From here, we have a pathway out of the cycle which involves consciousness raising, interrupting, educating, taking a stand, questioning, or reframing. Or, we do nothing. We don’t make waves. We promote the status quo. And in this case, the cycle begins again at the lens of identity, only now, this lens is shaped by “misinformation...history...habit...tradition...prejudices...stereotypes...biases.”

This cycle is in constant relationship with our fear, ignorance, confusion, and insecurity. Renowned scholar, educator, and author (among his other books he wrote Is God a White Racist?), Dr. William R. Jones says that when we talk about “oppression,” it brings up negative connotations. In part because our own identity is in a constant relationship with fear, insecurity, and dissonance, we are unconsciously defensive and can’t associate ourselves with the notion of “oppression.” The work becomes especially intense when we begin to unpack our own bags of privilege: the way we oppress others on a daily basis (and we all do) in order to preserve our privilege. Whew! That’s tough work.

It helps to know this: power is being able to say “what the norm is.” It threatens something as precious and fragile as our identity to step out of the cycle and empower others. The power of setting the norm gives us the power of being the norm. And yet, I believe we have something even more powerful to gain by engaging in empowerment of others as we practice being gentle and loving with ourselves. That is, a move from that fear, ignorance, confusion, and insecurity, into the strength of an identity that is more fully integrated, more fully whole.

As uncomfortable as recent political tensions have been, and as much as I may not agree with some particular things that the Rev. Jeremiah Wright has said, I find myself thankful that “liberation theology” has received some attention in the national dialogue recently. Whether or not this is a part of your own theology, and absolutely regardless of what you think of the Rev. Wright, the act of studying liberation theology can be a part of a journey toward wholeness.

Warmly in Faith,
S.

The Rev. Wright

Did you catch the Bill Moyers interview? I did not. While it may be ancient history for some, I just finished the full text online. Much better than a singular clip. I am glad I went back a few times until I could finish it.

Here it is. The video is in two parts. Look up at the top of the page to click on "part II" when the first ends. However, there is the transcript at the bottom of the same screen, with the whole interview in its entirety. The interview was completed in an hour-long segment:

http://www.pbs.org/moyers/journal/04252008/watch.html

Some random thoughts on first reflection:

1. I wish Bill Moyers had not limited his conversation in the interview to the term "black liberation theology." Unfortunately, due perhaps to "miseducation," white folks-- and maybe even other folks of color-- who are unfamiliar with liberation theology may be inclined to put this off as something that has nothing to do with them. Ahem. "Liberation theology." I am so glad this term is coming, if slowly, into the national conversation. I come from a religious tradition with a history closely intertwined with liberation theology. Whether or not this is your own theology, developing an understanding of liberation theology is of value. We are all developing, learning human beings, and if we are people of faith seeking to develop ourselves spiritually and religiously, we will be interested in developing into the wholeness of our humanity. Liberation theology can help inform us along the journey.

2. There is a powerfully beautiful (slightly off topic) sermon here from the Rev. James Ford: http://monkeymindonline.blogspot.com/2008/05/saying-yes-to-life-even-hard-parts.html. There is a piece in that sermon, that reminds me of one of my favorite sermons from one of my all-time favorite preachers, the Rev. Thomas Anastasi from Shoreline Unitarian Universalist Church in Shoreline, WA. His sermon was titled something like "What You Think You Heard Me Say Was Not What I Thought I Said." There are few more painful and fragile lessons for those of us new in our ministries, and perhaps those long-timers as well-- and really for all people-- than what that title sums up. This whole "Rev. Wright controversy" has been so interesting for me to just stand back and observe. I feel such tenderness, such empathy for the Rev. Wright, even as I do not agree with everything I think I hear him saying.

3. Many folks are questioning Wright's judgement in terms of the timing of his very public commentary on the media-frenzy over statements he has made. I do fear this will be detrimental to Obama's campaign, and at the same time, I am thankful this is coming out now. I want all the mud-slinging to begin at this time, rather than when the general election is upon us. If there is "dirt" to be dug up on Obama, let it not take us by surprise.

4. I think it is worthy of pause to think of the many preachers of one type or another who have been involved with our various presidents and other politicians. Some heinous things have been said by a-many of them. What makes the Rev. Wright's comments (whether or not you consider them heinous) particularly controversial seems to me to be (1) that the Rev. Wright is black, and unapologetic. Yes, though Obama has since "divorced" himself from the Reverend, as he originally said, it does come back to the old phrase that Sunday is the most segregated day of the week...the Reverend has made himself clear that he is not going to speak in ways more palatable to whites if it changes his message to do so. And that to me seems to be the clincher in this conversation. I do have a feeling that many of the doubts that this raises for folks about Obama have as much to do with the "miseducation" that you can't be patriotic and question your own country. And being black just seems to feed into that sense of suspicion. But what is more patriotic than questioning one's own country in an effort to call it into its better self? And anybody who has ever been to therapy knows that honest dialogue about the self-destructive things we do and the way to get out of those patterns does not automatically mean self-hatred. Finally, as many ministers have commented since "Jeremiah Wright" became a household name across America, let no one ever hold a congregant accountable to every belief and statement of that congregant's minister. As a religious professional myself, I'd like to acknowledge that I am also a living, growing, changing, learning, fallible human being.

5. Unitarian Universalists have been attempting to engage in honest racial conversation and anti-racist work (starting from within our own hearts) for a long time. When I heard the Rev. Wright frame his "next step" recommendation for the work of the United Church of Christ as needing to have such a conversation, I got hung up for a moment. It is easy to feel discouraged right now as a Unitarian Universalist in the midst of such a conversation, with so many fits and starts. Then I heard the Rev. Wright say this in his next breath about that conversation: "To start using Bill Jones' paradigm, about how one sees God...your theology determines one's anthropology. And how you see humans determines your sociology." We are on an interesting course right now in Unitarian Universalism, engaging theological language and having an honest conversation about our theological diversity too. Perhaps these two conversations, our conversation on race and our conversation on theology, for the first time should begin to find places to be in ongoing relationship with one another. I wonder how this would change the depth to which we can take both these conversations.

That's it, for now. I'm sure I'll periodically have more to say on this.

Remember this House?

Remember this house?
http://becausethatiswhatmylifeislikerightnow.blogspot.com/2008/04/further-house-hunt-updates.html

Well, they've lowered the price by $15,000 or something. I have a feeling buyers are being turned off by the notion that this is a short-sale.

As for the rehab house, alright I concede, it looks like it may indeed be too much of a project (we're still deciding), as much as it might result in a dreamy house in the end!

We have another house we are going to look at on Sunday, about a half mile from the rehab house. Its location isn't quite as much of a match with our desires, but I still like the location better than the one above. It is as small as our old cramped house, but the house is super cheap (even cheaper than the rehab property!!! We will see what kind of work it needs).

But if we don't think this one is worth an offer after we look on Sunday, I think we might go ahead and throw our names in the hat for the one above. I am feeling so perfectly done with looking.

Below is the one we'll be looking at on Sunday. I'm not a fan of the overall style, for whatever reason, it is still on a busy street (re-sale issue), and it is situated between two funky properties--one rather unkempt-- but at this price, we'd have some room to make some improvements and maybe even expand this house a little. Plus, it does have a porch of some kind. And I bet pulling out those oh so perfectly groomed bushes might help too.



To see the listing, go to http://www.remaxadvantage.com/search.asp?search=standard&agentid=104861, scroll down to where it asks for the MLS number, and plug in the following number (but take out all the spaces):

MLS # 7 07 431 36





For some reason the listing doesn't have the indoor photos, so here they are as sent to us by our agent upon our request (she had it from the last time it was listed, as it is a "back on the market property" from an estate...our agent said she's shown it before and that it is cute...the pictures indicate that some sweat equity will be needed):

Bloom Where You Are Planted

The sun was on its way down when I took these photos, but hopefully they are bright enough for our purposes.

Here is the view to the left of the church where I serve, heading up our urban street. The trees on the right are "our trees," Bradford Pear trees (non-fruit bearing??) that, according to the senior minister, were purchased in 1986 by some members of the congregation in a cooperative effort with the city to beautify the street.

When they arrived, she said, the saplings were so scrawny and spindly that she was sure they wouldn't survive the winter. Indeed, they did survive, and the tallest is now about 40 feet tall. As you can see above, they nearly touch the trees across the street, next to the Methodist church.

This is the view through the trees, looking up at our steeple. Beautiful. These trees are amazing. They make me think of a type of tree I remember from back in Colorado that has tons of compact balls of small white flowers. They look like snowballs.

In the tree out by my new church, however, the flowers are in smaller, much less compact bunches, and there are these sweet little green leaves that stick out at the ends of each bunch, adding a perfectly-placed accent of color.

I am a city girl. I've always preferred the urban life to the suburban, and certainly to country living. Even if I loved the country, I know I could not survive there. I am not only missing a green thumb, but most everything I try to grow experiences a quick demise in my hands.

Nonetheless, I have a deep appreciation for green, living, growing things, and for mother earth, our home. Just because I need a reminder every year about things as simple as the difference between an annual and a perennial does not mean that I have never sat on the side of a mountain in awe at the smallness of me and the vastness of the ground upon which I sat.

Indeed, some of my most profound spiritual experiences have been on a silent mountainside and/or deep in a tall forest.

One of the things I miss most about Washington State is the green. In Western Washington, we had two notable seasons: rainy and dry. The dry season was our shorter season, lasting a few months each year. It was a short enough season that many folks did not water their lawns, and there would be rows of houses surrounded by brown.

But the whole rest of the year, the earth was green from the heavy, lush ground cover, all the way up the large moss-covered tree trunks, until the green of the leaves on the trees met the sky. I am sure you can understand, from the below photo, why I miss it so dearly.

The above photo from Washington State is not my own (it came from http://www.flickr.com/photos/burchdc/1465029060/in/photostream/). But it is the dominant scene of the area, and a similar picture could have just as easily been taken at a park near our old home. I do miss that. And the rain.

The church I previously served was on the edge of the city, a terribly tucked away location I felt, yet each day when I came into work, I would look behind the church into the small forested area against which it was set, and I felt a sense of peace and calm that I am having trouble finding here.

However, I keep getting the feeling that the more I connect with the earth here in New England, the more grounded I will feel on this land, and the more connected I will feel to this place and its people. The more I connect with the ground upon which I now stand, the better able I will be to bloom where I am planted. And blooming where one is planted is critical for happiness.

So I have been taking walks and admiring all the beautiful flowering plants. (And I am looking forward to our beach time this summer.)

(I think the above one is called forsythia. My photo, taken at night, does not do it justice at all whatsoever.)

I'm So Dizzy, My Head Is Spinning

...literally.

"I am so dizzy, my head is spinning. Like a whirlpool, it never ends." (By the way, when my uncle JoFish and I both started singing this song once, G. had no idea what we were singing-- she'd never heard this classic, but I luuuuurve it.)

In my case, no, it is not YOU, girl. I think I am either coming down with something today, or this is an exacerbated case of one of my med's side effects.

No wonder the vestibular system is a hot topic in neuroscience right now (http://www.handle.org/). I can't think straight at all. I am fumbling all over the place, can't put a full sentence together. I feel like my brain is free-floating somewhere far away right now. M.'s vestibular system is possibly underdeveloped. I can see why this could make it challenging for him to track information.