One More Reason to Homeschool

I have had to fight our school district pretty hard since M. turned three to keep him out of public school. It's been really tough having to stand up, only to be battered at every turn. I do it because I have seen with my own eyes the benefits Montessori has had in M's life, because I have observed the public school classroom recommended for M. and seen the sub-standard education offered, and because I have researched the heck out of it and made the decision I feel is most educationally sound.

Even though this isn't the reason I have M. doing partial homeschool and partial private Montessori school, this kind of thing is one more reassurance I've done the right thing: http://enyal.wordpress.com/2008/10/18/abuse-or-classroom-management/

My local school district has some crazy approaches to behavioral management, and I could totally see this kind of thing going on. In fact, I actually had to request a new school district speech therapist for M. after, among other things, his speech therapist grabbed his arm and yanked him very roughly right in front of me.

Everyday I am down on my knees saying my thanks that I have been able to keep ds out of harm's way, for the most part.

When Your Vision Is Too Expansive

I have difficulty compartmentalizing information.

This is often a blessing. I am easily able to take a broad view of systems and also transfer information from one system to another. At classes and workshop, I find myself impatient when other attendees have to stop and ask, "What does this have to do with...[fill in the blank with whatever the topic is]?" (Yes, I found college almost painful.) If the teacher or leader of the class or workshop has made the connection, you can be certain that I too have made the connection. When other people are saying things like, "This is nice, but I was really hoping to get some tangible ideas I can take home," I often am sighing inside. My neurons have usually been firing off ideas the whole time as I've connected all types of information in response to what I am learning.

At times, though, my inability to compartmentalize becomes problematic. Today I found that a global perspective I have been taking for granted for some time is not a common world view. I didn't realize until after I pissed someone off (at work, no less) by taking my broad view as a given. Actually, it took me getting upset that I'd pissed someone off. I got upset and called a colleague who listened to me explain my thinking to her, and then she said "I have never thought of it like that before." The subsequent dialogue in my head went something like:

Oh.

Oh! Huh.

Really? I could have sworn that other colleagues have talked about this before.

Is it just me?

I don't get how this can be compartmentalized.

I am so confused. I am so hurt [that the person I pissed off was so offended].

Sometimes it is hard not to feel crazy.

Postscript: A few days later, I am feeling much better. I called another colleague, one from the west coast whose response to the idea that I think much differently than others was, "you do?!" Ah, it is likely another one of those east-west coast adjustments I am making. So then I talked to a colleague out here who is one of the longest-serving and most respected in our field. And though she has worked for 30 years in the northeast, she also is very involved in the national organization of our association and has a good understanding of regional differences. She is a tremendous mentor for me! I wanted her to help me shift my thinking, if necessary, into a more regionally-appropriate form. But she told me I was spot-on in my thinking, and that more than anything I just have to be patient (and try harder not to scare people so much with my wild west ways LOL).

Reflections on the Win...a Night To Never Forget

The night of the election, I drove to an election party at a local bar, my hands clenched tightly around the steering wheel as I heard what I thought was an announcer indicating that McCain had taken Pennsylvania. When I realized finally that they were talking about Obama, I relaxed slowly, not wanting to allow myself to believe until everything was for sure. I wandered into the bar tentatively. I wasn't meeting up with friends, and no matter what was about to happen, it was bound to be an emotional night.

I spent the first part of the evening tucked away in a crowded area of the bar, uninterested in expending the tremendous effort it would be to navigate the crowd only to stand in another crowded area. It was a good sized, diverse crowd. Lots of young folks. A fair chunk of old folks. Some folks were coming back and forth between the congressman's party and this party, but from what I heard, we were the younger crowd with more folks of color and more food and fun. I couldn't hear the reporters on the television, but the visual images were enough.

Obama. Obama.
Two more states for Obama.

Obama.
Another win for Obama.

McCain.
Well, that one was expected.

Two women finally started chatting with me, and pretty soon I began shaking hands and meeting the people around me. The mood was jubilant and cheerful, even if afraid to believe. A congregant from the church where I serve spotted me and came over. We chatted for a bit, and then he returned to the folks he was with. The energy was starting to buzz in the air.

The more time that went on, the more confident we all became. We watched the senate majority climb (yahoo!): 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56...

I was getting impatient. This all looked like such good news, and everyone began to feel ready for the announcement of Obama's win. It was late, and I was tired, but it all felt so imminent, and I didn't want to go home without hearing for sure. I distracted myself in conversations with the folks around me: what work we do, how long we have been in our city, in the state, how long we have been voting, what we like to do in our spare time. I haven't done anything social like that with total strangers for a long time.

In a moment of total distraction, I glanced up at the screen just as the announcement came across, "Barack Obama: President Elect." I didn't know if I should trust what I was seeing and hearing, but suddenly the crowd broke out in cheers. This was it.

I can't even begin to describe to you what that moment was like in that room. We were screaming and laughing, and we were all embracing one another. Strangers and friends all in one moment. A woman who moved to the United States from Kenya eight years ago stood in front of me, hands clasped together in the air for a long time after the first rush of cheers had died down. Another woman kept pounding her fists on the bar, and saying, "Now we are one. Now we are one." A woman originally from Rwanda stood staring at the television screen with tears streaming down her face. All of us were crying.

I wish I could convey to you better what it was like, but I can't. It was so visceral. It was this palpable healing energy. It did not fix everything, but it was needed to soothe our souls. I have never in my life experienced something quite like it, and I know I will be lucky if I experience it again.

There is a great post on one of the blogs I follow about the bittersweet moment this was, when on one hand so much progress was made and on another, so much ground was lost: http://monkeymindonline.blogspot.com/2008/11/joys-sorrows.html. But the words to a hymn come to mind: "We will get there. Heaven knows how we will get there, but we know we will."

There is a long road ahead of us. It will be hard. It will be full of pain and difficult decisions and hardship. Justice will not always be served. But I can see Obama isn't wasting time, nor disengaging from the public discourse that was the campaign: http://www.change.gov/. I am impressed.

I have been very teary since the election. My children may remember into adulthood the way we talk about how we have the power for positive change, and the way President Elect Obama has reminded us of that and called us to keep on keeping on. This is huge. Huge. May we never forget, and may we Get. To. Work.

Yes we DID!

Tomorrow is Election Day.

This is such a historic moment that I actually get chills thinking about it:



Vote. Vote. Vote! Don't forget.

And please join me in voting for hope, and for the promise that is America. Let's get to work!

Love ya'll,
Masasa

I Love My Mother-- I Am Proud To Be a Member of My Family

The Horoscope that Has Scared the Living Daylights Out of Me

(And I don't even know if I believe in this stuff)

Here it is...my demons right there in my weekly horoscope:
http://astrostyle.com/Scopes/Weekly_Scope/index.htm#gem

And my monthly horoscope:
http://astrostyle.com/Scopes/Monthly_Scope/monthly_gemini.htm