Two things.
First, I am slowly working on re-writing my missing post, the letter to my children, and I will post it again as soon as I have it done. I think it will be worth the wait.
Second, remember waaaaay back in October (2008) when I posted this link: http://www.chrismartenson.com/crashcourse. I hope if you didn't watch it then, that you will now. I am very interested in discussing this with other folks.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Blogspot and the Missing Post
My last post was a letter for my children, and it meant a lot to me. Why I didn't save it in Word, I have no idea. Unfortunately, I went in to make a couple of edits this morning, and in an instant, when I hit publish, my post was gone. I've since learned that blogger has a recover feature that occassionally helps with instances such as this, but in my panic I went and posted "where is this post?" in my old post, thus as far as I know, destroyed my ability to hit recover.
On the off chance that any of you have a way to help me recover this post, I am asking for your help. I am hoping that either blogspot emails out posts to subscribers or...
1. One of you happened to have it opened on your screen and haven't closed it out OR
2. One of you happened to like what I wrote (ha! I know, I'm grasping here...) enough to have saved it in some fashion.
Help! The post was made yesterday, Saturday. I am desperate!
On the off chance that any of you have a way to help me recover this post, I am asking for your help. I am hoping that either blogspot emails out posts to subscribers or...
1. One of you happened to have it opened on your screen and haven't closed it out OR
2. One of you happened to like what I wrote (ha! I know, I'm grasping here...) enough to have saved it in some fashion.
Help! The post was made yesterday, Saturday. I am desperate!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
"The Panics"
So our van has been out of use for several months. We hope its just the alternator (vs. something electrical), but we have to wait and save up money for it to be checked out. Anyway, so the car has been sitting in front of the house, and every once in-a-while, the kids talk about how we can't drive it until we take it to the "panics." That's how they mis-pronounce "mechanics." Fitting.
When I need to take a car to the mechanic, it definitely induces panic :-).
I just wanted to post this so I have it written down somewhere and don't forget it. Toooooo cute!
When I need to take a car to the mechanic, it definitely induces panic :-).
I just wanted to post this so I have it written down somewhere and don't forget it. Toooooo cute!
Weird Moments on Facebook
I only joined Facebook for work. For a long time, I didn't join Facebook, but rather watched carefully those who did and learned what I could about different ways to approach it. In the end, I decided to have a pretty limited network, so I have a specific mix of "friends."
My general ground rules for myself are:
1. To only "make friends" with folks somehow related to my work: colleagues, members of my past or former congregation, and UU folks with whom I am otherwise connected.
2. Not to put out "friend requests" on a regular basis, not because I wouldn't be happy to have a large network, but rather because somehow I just feel weird asking folks to be my friends. I dunno.
Every once-in-a-while, I contemplate having a non-work Facebook account. I wonder, what would I do with it? Would I make online connections with folks I am meeting now who aren't UU? Would I try to reconnect with folks from my past?
Tonight, just out of curiosity, I did a search for folks who graduated from my high school the same year I did. I would NOT recommend this activity to other folks with memory loss.
It is a bit on the spooky side.
I could recall a few specific folks, once I saw their pictures, but for the most part, it was like walking through the halls of high school and seeing ghosts.
The names sounded so familiar-- I could even hear myself saying them-- and the faces looked vaguely like people I should know, but I couldn't place these memories into any context.
Was she one of my friends?
Was he? Were they?
Who ARE these people?
Also, seeing folks made me really glad we didn't have (as far as I know) a 10 year high school reunion. Because from the snapshots and little blurbs of info, anyway, everyone looks happy, healthy, successful, absolutely BEAUTIFUL, and like they are doing very well. I am happy and stuff too, but I just know I would walk in and start feeling like I was in high school, or middle school all over...so insecure! Like I'll never quite be as worthy. Yikes! Crazy how quickly I can return to that place in my mind, despite the lack of memories.
Another issue to work on, I suppose.
My general ground rules for myself are:
1. To only "make friends" with folks somehow related to my work: colleagues, members of my past or former congregation, and UU folks with whom I am otherwise connected.
2. Not to put out "friend requests" on a regular basis, not because I wouldn't be happy to have a large network, but rather because somehow I just feel weird asking folks to be my friends. I dunno.
Every once-in-a-while, I contemplate having a non-work Facebook account. I wonder, what would I do with it? Would I make online connections with folks I am meeting now who aren't UU? Would I try to reconnect with folks from my past?
Tonight, just out of curiosity, I did a search for folks who graduated from my high school the same year I did. I would NOT recommend this activity to other folks with memory loss.
It is a bit on the spooky side.
I could recall a few specific folks, once I saw their pictures, but for the most part, it was like walking through the halls of high school and seeing ghosts.
The names sounded so familiar-- I could even hear myself saying them-- and the faces looked vaguely like people I should know, but I couldn't place these memories into any context.
Was she one of my friends?
Was he? Were they?
Who ARE these people?
Also, seeing folks made me really glad we didn't have (as far as I know) a 10 year high school reunion. Because from the snapshots and little blurbs of info, anyway, everyone looks happy, healthy, successful, absolutely BEAUTIFUL, and like they are doing very well. I am happy and stuff too, but I just know I would walk in and start feeling like I was in high school, or middle school all over...so insecure! Like I'll never quite be as worthy. Yikes! Crazy how quickly I can return to that place in my mind, despite the lack of memories.
Another issue to work on, I suppose.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
I've Been Spending Time...
...reading this blog this summer: http://www.antiracistparent.com/. I recommend it!
Woohooooo hoooooo! Great News!
Remember how I was so worried about my divinity school applications (I still am! Nothing has changed on that front...that's not the news LOL!) and getting those two letters of academic reference? Remember how I went and found out that my old department at school was reconfigured entirely and none of the faculty had stuck around through the transition?
WELL, I have successfully tracked down one of my professors this week, who just so happens to be one of the very first people-- if not THE first person-- to pop into my mind when I realized I would need these letters. I really put my heart and soul into her classes, and I learned a lot. I am so glad to be back in touch with her, and best of all, she actually remembers me!
She emailed me back tonight. I am so excited!
WELL, I have successfully tracked down one of my professors this week, who just so happens to be one of the very first people-- if not THE first person-- to pop into my mind when I realized I would need these letters. I really put my heart and soul into her classes, and I learned a lot. I am so glad to be back in touch with her, and best of all, she actually remembers me!
She emailed me back tonight. I am so excited!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Belonging
I am really lucky to have met my wife at nineteen.
Rarely, at various moments over the years, I have wondered what it would have been like to have had more time for dating, for total freedom and independence, for trying on different relationship identities, and growing alone. But the truth is, when I met G, I knew within months that I wanted to marry HER and have children with HER.
G and I have been really different people from the start. We shared a complimentary sense of humor, some common core values, and a few similar interests (a love of water perhaps the most critical), but our families of origin, our life experiences, our theological understandings, our educational interests and histories, our hobbies and likes, our approaches to everything from money to goal setting, and even the music we listened to most were vastly different.
Over the years, we've had many jokes about how different we were when we met. We used to say that if we had met just a few years earlier, we might not have even liked one another, let alone fallen in love. For a while, I joked that my family must be paying G to date me.
Now, over a decade later, G and I have found that while we've grown together in many ways, we've also grown in very different directions. We share more in common now, but this is largely because we've built a life together. As individuals, sometimes we have wondered if now we have less in common than when we met.
I no longer see many commonalities as necessary to a deeply fulfilling marriage. Not a day has gone by since the day I met G when she hasn't helped me in some way to grow as a human being. I am a very different person than I was at nineteen, not in spite of my marriage, but because of it.
More than anything, what I find in my marriage, is a "deep knowing." G knows me as fully as a human being as probably anyone ever will, and she chooses love. There is something that is deeply fulfilling in receiving true-knowing followed by true, authentic, willing love. In my marriage, in my home, in the family G and I have created together, I belong. That's a feeling unlike any other...belonging.
I am starting to think most people spend their lives in various emotional and mental states that relate to belonging. And starting to think that one of our spiritual tasks is finding a sense of peace in an eternal belonging.
Rarely, at various moments over the years, I have wondered what it would have been like to have had more time for dating, for total freedom and independence, for trying on different relationship identities, and growing alone. But the truth is, when I met G, I knew within months that I wanted to marry HER and have children with HER.
G and I have been really different people from the start. We shared a complimentary sense of humor, some common core values, and a few similar interests (a love of water perhaps the most critical), but our families of origin, our life experiences, our theological understandings, our educational interests and histories, our hobbies and likes, our approaches to everything from money to goal setting, and even the music we listened to most were vastly different.
Over the years, we've had many jokes about how different we were when we met. We used to say that if we had met just a few years earlier, we might not have even liked one another, let alone fallen in love. For a while, I joked that my family must be paying G to date me.
Now, over a decade later, G and I have found that while we've grown together in many ways, we've also grown in very different directions. We share more in common now, but this is largely because we've built a life together. As individuals, sometimes we have wondered if now we have less in common than when we met.
I no longer see many commonalities as necessary to a deeply fulfilling marriage. Not a day has gone by since the day I met G when she hasn't helped me in some way to grow as a human being. I am a very different person than I was at nineteen, not in spite of my marriage, but because of it.
More than anything, what I find in my marriage, is a "deep knowing." G knows me as fully as a human being as probably anyone ever will, and she chooses love. There is something that is deeply fulfilling in receiving true-knowing followed by true, authentic, willing love. In my marriage, in my home, in the family G and I have created together, I belong. That's a feeling unlike any other...belonging.
I am starting to think most people spend their lives in various emotional and mental states that relate to belonging. And starting to think that one of our spiritual tasks is finding a sense of peace in an eternal belonging.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
My new hero is Emily Yeung!
Either that or I am really jealous of all the coool things she gets to do ;-).
I don't have a tv, so thanks to YouTube for this:
http://www.antiracistparent.com/2009/06/30/girls-can-do-anything-ask-emily-yeung/
And OMG I feel like snowtubing now after the end to that vid!
I don't have a tv, so thanks to YouTube for this:
http://www.antiracistparent.com/2009/06/30/girls-can-do-anything-ask-emily-yeung/
And OMG I feel like snowtubing now after the end to that vid!
Monday, July 6, 2009
"Here come the boogie boards!"
I finally had a chance to tag along with my family on one of G's regular trips with the kids to the beach.
I have been missing way too many (read: all) beach trips this summer, and it feels like I am working all the time yet getting nothing done. I can't get this time back with my family, so while the beach will always be there (though goodness knows there is no where I'd rather be than at the beach) I really need to prioritize these beach days higher.
The Fourth of July was a good day to go ahead and play hookie because, well, it's a friggin' holiday and that is what people do! We got a little bit of absolutely heavenly beach time in that afternoon. It was AWESOME! G had been telling me how great it is there with the kids now, and I agree.
G's sister loaned us some boards, thus I found out the kids are starting to boogie board! We could have easily spent the whole day there if only we hadn't needed to fit in a nap! And with G's sister there to watch the kids for a few minutes at a time, G and I fit in a little body surfing.
When I think of the Fourth of July this year, I'll think of M and K running to the water, boogie boards in tow, with K grinning ear to ear and shouting "here come the boogie boards!" I really wish I had photos. It was sooooooo much fun.
That night there was a report that the police were cracking down on fireworks, even though there is no longer a city show, but we went back to the beach anyway, and found that there was quite an impressive number of fireworks. It was incredible to watch, albeit slightly scary.
What a good day.
I have been missing way too many (read: all) beach trips this summer, and it feels like I am working all the time yet getting nothing done. I can't get this time back with my family, so while the beach will always be there (though goodness knows there is no where I'd rather be than at the beach) I really need to prioritize these beach days higher.
The Fourth of July was a good day to go ahead and play hookie because, well, it's a friggin' holiday and that is what people do! We got a little bit of absolutely heavenly beach time in that afternoon. It was AWESOME! G had been telling me how great it is there with the kids now, and I agree.
G's sister loaned us some boards, thus I found out the kids are starting to boogie board! We could have easily spent the whole day there if only we hadn't needed to fit in a nap! And with G's sister there to watch the kids for a few minutes at a time, G and I fit in a little body surfing.
When I think of the Fourth of July this year, I'll think of M and K running to the water, boogie boards in tow, with K grinning ear to ear and shouting "here come the boogie boards!" I really wish I had photos. It was sooooooo much fun.
That night there was a report that the police were cracking down on fireworks, even though there is no longer a city show, but we went back to the beach anyway, and found that there was quite an impressive number of fireworks. It was incredible to watch, albeit slightly scary.
What a good day.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Dreams...
Something I dream of doing with my children is a trip to Africa, perhaps Ghana. I think the cultural exchange aspect of such a trip would be amazing!
There is at least one organization (http://www.globalvolunteers.org/) I have found that has a volunteer program in Ghana for families to do together. Since I have no money at all, I'd have to fundraise it. That's common for folks traveling to volunteer. Adding up the program fee for one (not sure how much they would charge for kids as young as mine) plus a very, very modest assumption about the cost of the flight, it seems like I would need a minimum of about 80 people to donate $50.
I see that and think, "that could be do-able." And then a second later I think, "I'd be crazy to imagine I could do that." Say I could get 25 folks from the church, 5 from my family, 5 from G's family, and 5 friends to do it. That's half of what I would need. The problem would be the other half. Plus, I am assuming there would be naysayers about a trip like that for a young family (including G, who has already said she is not going to come with us...she even hates traveling in the states), so I'd have to address that for fundraising. Hmmm.
There is at least one organization (http://www.globalvolunteers.org/) I have found that has a volunteer program in Ghana for families to do together. Since I have no money at all, I'd have to fundraise it. That's common for folks traveling to volunteer. Adding up the program fee for one (not sure how much they would charge for kids as young as mine) plus a very, very modest assumption about the cost of the flight, it seems like I would need a minimum of about 80 people to donate $50.
I see that and think, "that could be do-able." And then a second later I think, "I'd be crazy to imagine I could do that." Say I could get 25 folks from the church, 5 from my family, 5 from G's family, and 5 friends to do it. That's half of what I would need. The problem would be the other half. Plus, I am assuming there would be naysayers about a trip like that for a young family (including G, who has already said she is not going to come with us...she even hates traveling in the states), so I'd have to address that for fundraising. Hmmm.
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